The Parental Intelligence Newsletter

8 July 2012

Hi, this is Bob Collier inviting you to 'explore the psychology of happy and successful parenting', connect with bright minds, discover new ideas and sail outside the mainstream for a while without running aground.

All that and more.

In this issue of the Parental Intelligence Newsletter there are links to 24 articles and 7 notices and items of news. As always, I trust you will find in my latest collection of parenting, education and personal development ideas and information from around the internet something that will make a positive difference to your life - and, through you, to the lives of your children.

Please scroll down to pick and choose whatever is of interest and useful to you.

Thank you for being here! I appreciate this opportunity to be of help to you in your parenting adventure and wish you all the happiness and success you would wish yourself.

See you next time!




A Parenting Revolution
by Dr. Caron Goode

If we knew that our children were our planetary and societal salvation and held the answer to the questions of how to survive and thrive into the next century, how would we treat them?

Read more ...

A New Vision of Childhood
by Teresa Graham Brett

When I began my journey as a parent, I was determined to avoid the mistakes of my parents and my own childhood. I was determined to create freedom of expression (especially emotions) in my home. I wanted the children in my life to feel safe, loved, and free.

Read more ...

Remembering Essence: Parenting as Emotional Healing
by John Breeding, Ph.D .

As a parent and as one who works with parents, I have become intimately familiar with a universal law that as a parent, your "stuff" will come up. As night follows day, however much we vow and wish differently, we inevitably and repeatedly fall out of our loving as parents. This simple premise is at the center of all the parenting work I do and facilitate these days. Anytime we fall out of our loving and point the finger at our "bad" children, it always says more about us than about our children. In order to hold and manifest our high ideals of what it means to be good parents, we must face our "stuff" and somehow transform ourselves in the places where we are unable to stay present and available for our children. We either suppress our children or we transform ourselves and our lives, again and again.

Read more ...

Attachment And Separation: What Everyone Should Know
by Dr. Peter Cook

Many human troubles would be lessened if the emotional needs of infants and young children were better understood in our society. This applies particularly to attachment needs and the effects of separating infants from their parents.

Read more ...

Forget the cot, sleep with your baby according to SIDS researcher Doctor James McKenna
Letitia Rowlands, The Daily Telegraph [UK]

Newborn babies who share a bed with their parents are safer than those in cots, says a leading baby sleep expert.

Read more ...

The Baby is the Book
by Jan Hunt

On a recent Internet radio show1, I emphasized that babies are the true experts on parenting. I added that I often ask new parents if they wish they had an expert living with them to help them to figure out what to do next! I told the radio audience to "Just look to the baby. If you're doing something wrong, the baby will tell you. If you're doing something right, the baby will tell you that too. Babies know exactly what they need."

Read more ...

10 Rules to Raise Terrific Kids
by Dr. Laura Markham

Research shows that the kids who act most ethically come from families with strong values, lots of discussion, and -- surprise! -- fewer rules!  That's because when kids just get used to following rules, they aren't thinking. If, instead, parents role model behavior that expresses their values, children come to value those things -- and they act accordingly.

Read more ...

What Every Mother Knows
by Anna Jahns

Every mother intuitively knows the supreme importance of the relationship between her and her child with every fibre of her being, for Nature has designed it to be this way.

There is nothing obscure or esoteric about the bond of intuitive connectedness that exists between mother and child-it is something so inherent to our biological system that it is as natural to us as breathing, and in many ways it is just as essential to our survival.

Read more ...

Confessions of a Proud Mom
by Jan Hunt

My son is 15 and has brought me nothing but...


I thought you'd say that! No, my son is 15 and has brought me nothing but joy.

"You're kidding! How did you do that?"

Read more ...

Fathering Goodness
by Gal Baras

Since this is a parenting blog with a focus on personal development, we normally post tips and advice that parents can use to improve their own lives and the life of their children. But today's post will be a bit different.

Today, I want to tell you about some things that happened to me with my own kids and to appeal to both mothers and fathers to do the best you can to raise your children in balance and harmony, including giving them enough time with their father.

Read more ...

How Children Really React to Control
by Thomas Gordon, Ph.D.

When one person tries to control another, you can always expect some kind of reaction from the controllee. The use of power involves two people in a special kind of relationship - one wielding power, and the other reacting to it.
This seemingly obvious fact is not usually dealt with in the writings of the dare-to-discipline advocates. Invariably, they leave the child out of the formula, omitting any reference to how the youngster reacts to the control of his or her parents or teachers.

Read more ...

Getting Out of the Way
by Naomi Aldort

My husband and I are often complimented on our children's behavior and demeanor. People think that we discipline them. We don't. It is ourselves we discipline.

Read more ...

Ten signs you need a different kind of education for your child
by Jerry Mintz

M any parents don't realize that the education world has changed drastically since they were in school. Schools and class sizes used to be smaller, dropout rates lower, in-school violence almost unheard of, and teachers weren't terrified of showing affection to their students, or of discussing moral values. Of course, even then, school was far from perfect, but at least the teachers-and usually the principal-knew every student by name, something that is increasingly rare today.

Because our public school system has deteriorated considerably, many parents, teachers, and individuals have taken it upon themselves to create public and private alternatives to that system; and it is important for parents to know that they now have choices.

Read more ...

Why We Homeschool
by Lisa Russell

"Why do we homeschool?" My 15 year old daughter asked me this the other day. "Is it to keep us away from bad things in school?" I had to think about the answer to that.

When another mom asks me, I have ten thousand reasons. Reason number one, I love my kids. Not to minimize the love other women feel for their children, but sheer, unbridled love makes me want to be with them every minute of the day, and watch their wonder and amazement as they explore this fantastical world, or eat cheetos.

Read more ...

How to Grow through Family Opposition of Homeschool
by Donna Vail

Are you committed to homeschooling but your spouse, parents or friends are not so supportive? Being in disagreement or feeling the friction can sometimes be unbearable. It can also bring up self-doubt and make you question yourself at times, especially on those days that don't look so "schoolish" or when you find yourself searching for answers.

Read more ...

A home educating parent looks back
from Home Education Staffordshire [UK]

A wonderful summary of one family's experience of home educating their three daughters over the years ...

Read more ...

What Does It Mean to Be Well-Educated?
by Alfie Kohn

No one should offer pronouncements about what it means to be well-educated without meeting my wife. When I met Alisa, she was at Harvard, putting the finishing touches on her doctoral dissertation in anthropology. A year later, having spent her entire life in school, she decided to do the only logical thing . . . and apply to medical school. Today she is a practicing physician -- and an excellent one at that, judging by feedback from her patients and colleagues.

She will, however, freeze up if you ask her what 8 times 7 is, because she never learned the multiplication table. And forget about grammar ("Me and him went over her house today" is fairly typical) or literature ("Who's Faulkner?"). After a dozen years, I continue to be impressed on a regular basis by the agility of her mind as well as by how much she doesn't know. (I'm also bowled over by what a wonderful person she is, but that's beside the point.)

Read more ...

Liberation from Education
by Barb Lundgren

Do I honestly think education is a bad thing? No, of course I don't. I just want it redefined.

Read more ...

Weird unschooling beliefs
by Melissa

A lot of times the vision of unschooling families is imagining that the house is just out of control with kids doing whatever they want all the time. 

Sandra Dodd shared this great response to a post a Mom had on the Always Learning Yahoo group, it was a post about sleeping issues and children being loud when Dad was trying to sleep.

Read more ...

What I've Learned About Learning
by Leo Babauta

I am a teacher and an avid learner, and I'm passionate about both.

I'm a teacher because I help Eva homeschool our kids - OK, she does most of the work, but I do help, mostly with math but with everything else too. I also teach habits, writing/blogging, simplicity and other fun topics in online courses.

I'm a lifelong learner and am always obsessively studying something, whether that's breadmaking or language or wine or chess or writing or fitness.

Here's are two key lessons - both really the same lesson - I've learned about learning, in all my years of study and in trying to teach people ...

Read more ...

The DIY Degree: Using Self-Education to Earn a Bachelor's Degree in 1 Year
by Scott H. Young

"What's the point of learning, if you don't get a degree after?"

This has been the biggest criticism of my MIT Challenge, and honestly, it's not an easy one to avoid. Even if weirdos like me are willing to learn a degree outside of school, the truth is the world still values that piece of paper. Unfortunately, until recently I've had little answer to this complaint-it seems if you want the degree, you have to suffer through an often slow and expensive process.

That was before I met Jay Cross. Jay in many ways did a project similar to mine-he completed a bachelor's degree in less time, mostly through self-study. The only difference? Jay got a real degree for his efforts.

Read more ...

Instilling a Prosperous Mindset in your child
by Sarah Newton

There is absolutely no doubt that this can be one of the most challenging things to do with your teen - as a Parent you will have to first look at your own prosperous mindset and work on yourself. This will however be the biggest gift that you can give to your teen so keep going, never give in and have fun.

Read more ...

Ending the Era of Mass Psychiatry
by Marilyn Wedge, Ph.D.

The number of Americans who are diagnosed or diagnosable with a serious mental illness has skyrocketed. Social Security claims for disability due to mental illness have also exploded. In 1987, the number was one in eighty-four Americans; whereas in 2007 the number increased to one in seventy-six. In children, the picture looks even bleaker: there was a thirty-five- fold increase in disability claims for mental illness between 1987 and 2007. What is going on? Why are Americans suffering a mental health epidemic that is unique among the countries of the developed world?

Read more ...

Optimal Life
by Robert Fritz

According to Steven Salerno in his book SHAM, over 80% of those who pursue self-help do not achieve their goals, and worse still, they experience less and less personal power in their lives as they go further into the self-help world. In fact, most self-help processes do not live up to their promise. Salerno thinks the field is filled with snake-oil hucksters who are out to steal your money. I see this very differently.

Read more ...


Why Dads Leave

According to the [US] National Center for Fathering, "63% of black children, 35% of Hispanic children, and 28% of white children are living in homes absent their biological father."
Why Dads Leave: Insights & Resources for When Partners Become Parents - NEW BOOK!

"When John W. Travis, MD, lauded as one of the founding fathers of the wellness movement, became a parent, he was shocked to discover how unprepared he was for coping with the emotional challenges of parenthood. Now, his wife and colleague, Meryn Callander, shares the story of their confident plunge into parenthood and the subsequent unraveling of that confidence, as they discovered themselves floundering, exhausted, and struggling to deal with the challenges confronting them. Why Dads Leave reveals the cultural and generational forces that are colluding to create an unacknowledged epidemic of disappearing dads-fathers leaving their families, physically or emotionally, soon after the birth of a child. Nearly twenty years in the making, this book provides insights and practical ways of preventing and healing the insidious and devastating impact of this dynamic. Beautifully written, compassionate, and unflinchingly honest, Why Dads Leave offers understanding and hope for men-and the women who love them."

For a complete overview of this important new publication, visit

Nurture - Australia's only natural parenting magazine

"Just launched is Nurture ~ Australia's only natural parenting magazine.  It is a quarterly print publication that provides comprehensive, thought-provoking and evidence-based articles on the physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual elements of child-rearing from a natural parenting perspective.  It also features regular columns including Natural Dad's Corner, Breastfeeding, Babywearing, Activities for children/families, Organic gardening with children, Recipes ( baby led weaning recipes and recipes you can cook with your child), Reader's story and Book reviews.

Pop over to to take a look!"

Homeschool Association of California Conference 2012

"Featuring some of the best known speakers in the homeschooling and parenting community, HSC's annual conference is a place to explore, relax, learn and find time to meet with new friends. It's a place where everything you need to know about homeschooling is under one roof for an entire weekend!"

August 2nd-5th 2012

Woodlake Hotel, Sacramento, California

Visit for all the details

Conscious Parenting & Natural Learning Conference 2012

"Join us to celebrate empowered conscious parenting and natural learning choices!

Our aim is to provide enriching experiences and to inspire families wanting to live more harmoniously and consciously while living and learning with their children and partners."

Dates:  1:30pm, Saturday 11th August to 6:30pm, Monday 13th August, 2012

Location:  Suffolk Beachfront Holiday Park & Suffolk Park Community Hall, corner Clifford and Alcorn Streets, Suffolk Park, Byron Bay, NSW

Get the details at

Escape Adulthood Summit

From Kim & Jason Kotecki:

"On August 24th & 25th, we are hosting the first ever Escape Adulthood Summit in picturesque Madison, Wisconsin. It will be a wild rumpus of epic proportions.

Part conference, part retreat, part mastermind group, it's a one-of-a-kind event designed for people instilled with the soaring spirit of childhood."

Visit for the exciting details

Florida Unschooling Conference

"We are thrilled to announce the first ever Florida Unschooling Conference - Un in the Sun!

We have selected beautiful Treasure Island, Florida as the sunny location for our inaugural conference. This area of Florida is known for its gorgeous white sand beaches, proximity to major attractions and Jimmy Buffet style laid back atmosphere!"

October 14 - 18, 2012

Treasure Island Florida

Find out more at

Sandra Dodd World Tour

Unschooling legend Sandra Dodd (and colleague Joyce Fetteroll) are planning a visit to Australia some time in 2013. Brisbane and Adelaide are currently 'pencilled in' and I'm hoping it will also be possible to add Canberra to the itinerary. If this is of interest to you, please go here to subscribe to the updates.

The link below has details of Sandra Dodd's speaking appearances generally:

Thank you for reading the Parental Intelligence Newsletter!

The next issue of this newsletter will be published on or about 22 July 2012

Subscribe now and stay in touch

Published by Bob Collier, Canberra, Australia  

Email: bobcollier[at]parental-intelligence[dot]com 

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