The Parental Intelligence Newsletter

29 April 2012

Hi, this is Bob Collier inviting you to 'explore the psychology of happy and successful parenting', connect with bright minds, discover new ideas and sail outside the mainstream for a while without running aground.

All that and more.

In this issue of the Parental Intelligence Newsletter there are links to 16 articles and 4 notices and items of news. As always, I trust you will find in my latest collection of parenting, education and personal development ideas and information from around the internet something that will make a positive difference to your life - and, through you, to the lives of your children.

Please scroll down to pick and choose whatever is of interest and useful to you.

Thank you for being here! I appreciate this opportunity to be of help to you in your parenting adventure and wish you all the happiness and success you would wish yourself.

See you next time!




Transcending Self-Image-Culture
by Michael Mendizza with Suzanne Arms

We all know that nurturing cooperative, creative, egalitarian individuals and societies is essential. The key that establishes this is turned very early. Research physiologist James Prescott, surgeon-epidemiologist researcher Michel Odent, author Joseph Chilton Pearce and clinical psychologist and researcher David Chamberlain have been saying and writing for 50 years that the deep, living, "primal" channel of communication we call "bonding" or "attachment" sets the biological template for either peaceful, expansive personal and cultural development or for fear-based, defensive, selfish, aggressive or passive personal and collective stagnation.

Read more ...

Parenting Manifesto
by Bruce Steven Dolin, Psy.D.

The true history of all society is the history of parenting.

Parents have always seemed to be in charge, but every generation has faced a revolution of children growing up and taking charge-only to be usurped by the next generation.

Read more ...

Babies Are Needy-Does That Bug You?
by Darcia Narvaez, Ph.D.

Caveat: You may not want to read this if you are [a] mother feeling vulnerable. Although there is scientific and evolutionary evidence for the information, the content is not medical advice--see your medical professional for that.

Human baby helplessness increased over the course of human evolution as humans shifted to bipedal walking. So much so that humans are born 18 months early compared to other primates. It's really important to get straight on what babies need before having one.

Read more ...

Relationship is Everything
by Bruce Steven Dolin, Psy.D.

One of the core concepts in Privilege of Parenting (the book) is the concept that everything in parenting turns on relationship.

Cultivating good relationships with our kids requires addressing three core motivations in life:  feeling safe, feeling loved and feeling empowered.

Read more ...

Habits Are Everything
by Christine Carter, Ph.D.

Watch a video of any elite athlete or performer before a big game or show, and you will likely see one thing: their pre-performance habits, the things that they do every single time in exactly the same way.

This is because habits are everything. Not just for game-day, and not just for elite performers. For normal people like you and I, for raising our children, for being happy in our relationships, for being happy as individuals.

Read more ...

Principles instead of rules
by Sandra Dodd

The idea of living by principles has come up before and will come up again. When I first started playing with the idea, in preparation for a conference presentation, I was having a hard time getting even my husband and best friends to understand it. Really bright people local to me, parents, looked at me blankly and said "principles are just another word for rules."

Read more ...

Time-Outs Damage Delicate Egos
by Dawn Fry

Some common misconceptions about child discipline exist that need to be brought out into the open. These misconceptions start with the word "discipline"- a term that is far too vague to describe the loving, respectful and supportive guidance children require. "Discipline" can mean "to educate" or "to punish." The word "discipline" is misleading when it is used to describe behaviors for teaching children - it is more commonly used to describe punishment than education.

Read more ...

You Never, You Always:  The Effect of Our Words on Others
by Charlotte Siems
"You're going to drop that."  "You're always late."  "You never notice how I look."  "Your room is always a mess."  "You never have time for me."
Have words like these escaped your lips lately?
Yes, you're busy.  In the stress of the moment, in trying to get several things done at once, you might voice your frustration to your husband and children.  The frustration (and the words) started in your head.  And you're speaking those things over your loved ones.

Read more ...

Criticizing (Common Criticisms of) Praise
by Alfie Kohn

Over the last few years I've had the odd experience of seeing my work cited with approval by people whose views on the issue in question are diametrically opposed to my own. The issue I have in mind is praise. I'm troubled by it, as are the people who quote me, but for very different reasons. So I thought I'd try to set the record straight even if the result is that I antagonize some folks who seem to regard me as an ally.

Read more ...

Six Words You Should Say Today
by Rachel Macy Stafford

Very rarely does one sentence have immediate impact on me.

Very rarely does one sentence change the way I interact with my family.

But this one did. It was not from Henry Thoreau or some renowned child psychologist. It was a comment from kids themselves. And if I've learned anything on this "Hands Free" journey, it is that children are the true experts when it comes to "grasping what really matters."

Read more ...

We Choose Our Own Role Models
by Laura Grace Weldon

There's no predicting who we choose as our role models. Teachers, coaches, and religious leaders are held out as exemplary choices and for good reason, since mentors are linked to greater success in adulthood. Despite adults' well-meaning efforts to foster or even assign mentors, each one of us is drawn to people we find inspiring. It's only in looking back that we can see more clearly how our childhood role models play a part in shaping who we become.

Read more ...

Mirror Mirror on the Wall
by Ronit Baras

Raising kids with confidence has been my goal ever since I started studying education. It was funny to discover along the way that teaching my kids knowledge was not going to make them successful and happy in life. At first, I was a bit disappointed to discover this, but as I have chosen to focus on the role of the most important agents - parents and teachers - in raising happy, confident, successful, healthy and friendly kids, I kept searching for ways that work.

Read more ...

What is Education?
by Robert L. Webb

What is education; knowledge in basic skills, academics, technical, discipline, citizenship or is it something else? Our formal education system says only academic basics are important and that is based on collecting knowledge without understanding its value. How about the processing of knowledge, using inspiration, visionary ambitions, creativity, risk, ability to bounce back from failure, motivation? Many education institutions don't consider these skills. These skills are associated with understanding the value of knowledge. There is a huge disconnected gap and this is a problem for high school students in particular.

Read more ...

12 Dozen Places To Educate Yourself Online For Free
by Marc of
Marc and Angel Hack Life

All education is self-education.  Period.  It doesn't matter if you're sitting in a college classroom or a coffee shop.  We don't learn anything we don't want to learn.

Those people who take the time and initiative to pursue knowledge on their own are the only ones who earn a real education in this world.  Take a look at any widely acclaimed scholar, entrepreneur or historical figure you can think of.  Formal education or not, you'll find that he or she is a product of continuous self-education.

Read more ...

Neuroplasticity: Changing our Belief about Change
by Joanna Holsten

A dangerous belief in our culture is that we can't change. We've all heard the disempowered statements: "He's just grumpy. He can't change that." or "I will always be anxious. It's the way I was born." While we most certainly have genetic predispositions, the brains of individuals' young and old can change in amazing ways.
Neuroplasticity is a fancy way of saying that our brains can change.

Read more ...

Lift Your Game!
by Ian White

Were you affronted by my title? What is it that inspires you? What is it that could inspire you to get the information you need to look after yourself and to make the right choices for you?

When I wrote Beat Depression the Drug Free Way, I was intent on writing a book that would actually help people through new awareness and the getting of greater wisdom and knowledge. Almost all my writing in the past had been of an academic nature, and here I was trying to 'get to the people who needed it the most' by using the sort of literary presentation that anyone could understand.

Read more ...


Homeschool-Unschool-Australia! magazine

New from Beverley Paine.

"A quarterly collection of recent writing published by long-term home educator Beverley Paine on her on websites, blogs, and online support groups.

The content reflects her keen interest in promoting home education and respects and honours the many different approaches families use to enrich their children's learning experiences.

Every week she reads, reflects and responds to the hundreds of posts and emails she receives and collates her responses as well as information about resources and approaches into this very readable 40 page or more magazine.

Her style of writing is friendly, supportive, honest and frank and above all else clearly demonstrates her passion for children and learning.

Dip into her three decades of parenting and educating experience!"

Subscribe for a year and save 25%, or purchase individual issues.

The Unschooling Summit

"Our children are unique-their education should be, too.

Welcome to the Unschooling Summit-a virtual event for parents of all ages who desire a more natural and loving approach to education for their children."

Coming May 2012. And it's free. For more information about the event and/or to sign up, please visit;

Conscious Parenting & Natural Learning Conference 2012

"Join us to celebrate empowered conscious parenting and natural learning choices!

Our aim is to provide enriching experiences and to inspire families wanting to live more harmoniously and consciously while living and learning with their children and partners."

Welcome Stranger Holiday Park, Ballarat, Victoria, Australia
Wednesday, 8th August - Friday, 10th August 2012 (inclusive)

Suffolk Beachfront Holiday Park, Byron Bay, New South Wales, Australia
Saturday, 11th August - Monday, 13th August 2012 (inclusive)

Visit for all the details

Sandra Dodd World Tour

Unschooling legend Sandra Dodd (and colleague Joyce Fetteroll) are planning a visit to Australia some time in 2013. Brisbane and Adelaide are currently 'pencilled in' and I'm hoping it will also be possible to add Canberra to the itinerary. If this is of interest to you, please go here to subscribe to the updates.

The link below has details of Sandra Dodd's speaking appearances generally:

Thank you for reading the Parental Intelligence Newsletter!

The next issue of this newsletter will be published on or about 13 May 2012

Subscribe now and stay in touch

Published by Bob Collier, Canberra, Australia  

Email: bobcollier[at]parental-intelligence[dot]com 

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