The Parental Intelligence Newsletter

18 March 2012

Hi, this is Bob Collier inviting you to 'explore the psychology of happy and successful parenting', connect with bright minds, discover new ideas and sail outside the mainstream for a while without running aground.

All that and more.

In this issue of the Parental Intelligence Newsletter there are links to 21 articles and 6 notices and items of news. As always, I trust you will find in my latest collection of parenting, education and personal development ideas and information from around the internet something that will make a positive difference to your life - and, through you, to the lives of your children.

Please scroll down to pick and choose whatever is of interest and useful to you.

Thank you for being here! I appreciate this opportunity to be of help to you in your parenting adventure and wish you all the happiness and success you would wish yourself.

See you next time!




3 Things Every Woman Should Know About Birth
by Aly Folin

When I was in midwifery school one of our assignments early on was a question: If you were given the opportunity to speak on television about birth and had only one or two things to say, what would that be? In response, I said something like what I am about to say here, but as a student, I didn't really know it to be true. I believed it, but I didn't KNOW it, and that's a huge difference.

Read more ...

What Every Health Professional Should Know
by James J. McKenna, Ph.D.

Top 12 List: What Every Health Professional And "Civil Authority" Should Know About "Sleeping With Baby" i.e. Mother-Infant Cosleeping With Breastfeeding

Read more ...

How to Become a More Positive Parent
by Louise Hart

Maintaining good health is vastly more important and effective than later treating illness. Good health takes effort: regular exercise, a healthy lifestyle, wearing seat belts, not smoking, and not abusing alcohol and drugs; in other words, doing the "good stuff," and avoiding the "bad stuff."

Likewise, raising healthy children is vastly more important and effective than later correcting misbehavior. It takes effort and commitment to nurture the "good stuff"-loving connections, empathy, meeting their needs. Unfortunately, most of the parenting books of the last two generations have focused on correcting misbehavior and fixing problems.

Read more ...

Wonders of Creation
by Gal Baras

Are your kids the most precious, amazing and wonderful things in the world?

If you are not sure, keep reading.

Read more ...

Whole Elephant Parenting
by Lu Hanessian
I read a parable about an elephant and blindfolded men, each touching a different part of the animal.

"It's a rope," says one, pulling its tail.

"It's a wall," says another, feeling its side.

"It's a hose," says another, groping its trunk.

Nobody could "see" the elephant itself.     

When we look at our children, who do we see?

Read more ...

Beyond the Sling: a Hammock for the New Parent's Soul
by Bruce Steven Dolin, Psy.D.

I got an advance copy of Beyond the Sling, a Real Life Guide to Raising Confident, Loving Children the Attachment Parenting Way by Mayim Bialik, PhD and, in short, I like it.

I'm saying yes to more things these days, and I like that too.  I said yes to the publicist's offer to send me this book, not because I'd heard of Mayim the actress (I've never seen any of her shows), but because the pitch was about Mayim the UCLA neuropsychologist and her take on parenting.

Read more ...

The Trap of Expectations
by Teresa Graham Brett

Ever since I have had children in my life, I have learned that expectations (about myself or them) are usually a set-up for frustration and disappointment. Expectations can be small or big. "I plan to get an article written today" or "I want my child to go to law school and become a lawyer".

Read more ...

100 Ways to be Kind to your Child
by Alissa

As a participating blog in Toddler Approved's 100 Acts of Kindness Challenge I spent a month knowing I would be writing about how to be kind to your children.  It's not that I don't want to be kind to my kids all the time, but honestly, it made a real difference to be thinking about this list.

Read more ...

Discipline - 4 "Must-Ask Questions"
by Chris White, M.D.

There are so many discipline books out there. Do we know the long-term effects of these approaches?
Many approaches to discipline give you tricks and techniques to gain short-term compliance out of your kids, but fail to help them grow into self-motivated, self-directed beings capable of respectful and responsible behaviors when you are not around to badger them.

Here are the four questions you need to ask yourself when evaluating any particular discipline book or technique.

Read more ...

Self-Control: (a) Innate, or (b) Dependent on Mom and Dad? (Hint: Choose B)
by Darcia Narvaez, Ph.D.

A recent study shows that non-addict siblings of drug addicts have similar deficits in circuitry for self-control (Ersche et al., 2012) The study has been reported as indicative of inborn capacities for self-control. BIG MISTAKE. It is jumping to a popular but incorrect conclusion (it's in the genes). There is much more evidence for an alternative conclusion.

Read more ...

Predictably Happy Kids
by Gal Baras

As parents, we are supposed to do what is best for our kids. One of the biggest choices we all need to make is how to develop our kids when they too young to choose for themselves. Obviously, without being able to see into their future, this could be a case of the blind leading the blind.

But maybe it does not have to be.

Read more ...

Seeing Through Your Child's Eyes
by Pam Laricchia

Recently, I've found myself replying to unschooling list posts with some variation of "take the time to see things through your child's eyes". It's an important shift of perspective, one that is key to learning about unschooling, so I thought I'd take a moment to dig into what it really means.

Read more ...

1,000 Ways To Play With A Cardboard Box
by Laura Weldon

A large appliance box waiting at the curb has always been a call to action. We've done whatever is necessary to get it home, mostly dragging it behind our bikes or lashing it to the car roof. That because every refrigerator or washing machine box (as well as every smaller box) has another life waiting for it. One dreamed up by children.

Read more ...

9 Essential Skills Kids Should Learn
by Leo Babauta

Kids in today's school system are not being prepared well for tomorrow's world.

As someone who went from the corporate world and then the government world to the ever-changing online world, I know how the world of yesterday is rapidly becoming irrelevant. I was trained in the newspaper industry, where we all believed we would be relevant forever - and I now believe will go the way of the horse and buggy.

Unfortunately, I was educated in a school system that believed the world in which it existed would remain essentially the same, with minor changes in fashion.

Read more ...

Homeschooling: Focusing on Learning, Not Teaching
by Linda Dobson

A key to effective learning, say homeschooling parents, is to habitually focus on helping your child learn. This is because there is a world of difference between the act of teaching a child and the act of assisting his learning process.

Read more ...

Don't Confuse Homeschooling Cause and Effect
by Linda Dobson

There's a notion floating around out there that there's something "different" about families who choose homeschooling. Jedediah Purdy, author of For Common Things: Irony, Trust, and Commitment in America Today (Knopf) and a young man who experienced homeschooling in West Virginia before heading off to Harvard and Yale, explains, "People seem to think there's some kind of trick or you have to be really amazing. Or," he adds, "they think their kids have to be amazing. None of that seems really right."

Read more ...

Encourage Entrepreneurship, Stop Teaching Math!
by Christeil Figueroa Gota   
My homeschooled kids can't get through a math worksheet.  No, really.  Not one single worksheet. If they solve one algorithm or word problem, that's it.  My 10 year old will even get bored 75% through reading a word problem.  He'll blurt out the answer, and never even bother to write out the solution. This issue lasted about 3 days in our first year of home education before we employed the solution:  I stopped teaching math.

Read more ...

When Gaming Is Good for You
by Robert Lee Hotz

Videogames can change a person's brain and, as researchers are finding, often that change is for the better.
A growing body of university research suggests that gaming improves creativity, decision-making and perception. The specific benefits are wide ranging, from improved hand-eye coordination in surgeons to vision changes that boost night driving ability.

Read more ...

Everything I Need to Know I Learned from Video Games
by Pam Laricchia

"He'd play video games all day if I let him," you confide in your neighbour and she nods her head in sympathy. "That can't be good, right?"

As life learners we strive to give our children the freedom to pursue their interests and passions. We see that they learn quickly and happily-almost effortlessly-when they are caught up in and enjoying what they are doing. It's pretty easy to let it flow when you feel their interests are worthwhile, but what if you have a hard time seeing the value in what they choose to pursue? Do you catch your breath and eventually demand they move on to something else?

Gaming is often an area of interest where many people have a hard time seeing the value.

Read more ...

Questioning Second Parent Income
by Starrwyn Tonkin

According to statistics, more than half of the second parent income goes towards the ability to make that income.

Read more ...

Book Review: Do You Really Know The Truth About Your Depression?
by Al Galves, Ph.D.
I first met Ian White in Denver in 2002 on his way back to Australia after conducting therapy work with folk in Kansas City. After spending some time in discussion with him, he struck me as being somewhat of an 'out-rider' to the world of psychotherapy, having developed, over decades, his particular method of affect-oriented therapy. His passionate dedication to the study of the human emotional subconscious has informed his clinical work and the conceptual arrangement of this book.

In his years of work as a Clinical Affectologist, White has learned that if we get a clear idea about what depression is and what it is not, if we can dispel, through the light of truth, the myths that have been perpetrated on us, we can get better. Over time, we can get much better.

Read more ...


How I Parent

A short and hopefully useful instantly downloadable FREE e-book about how I've parented my own children.

Download your copy here (290KB) 

Hypnosis MP3s for Beginners

Here's another FREE e-book for you.

Are you a little bit afraid of hypnosis?

"Hypnosis MP3s for Beginners will help you understand and maximize the benefits of using downloadable pre-recorded hypnosis sessions to make positive changes in your life and to feel comfortable and safe when using hypnosis MP3s no matter what you believe about hypnosis right now."

For more information and to download a free copy of Hypnosis MP3s for Beginners, visit

A Kindle version will be available shortly under the title of How to Use Hypnosis Effectively.  The free pdf version of my "beginners guide to hypnosis MP3s" by that name containing a special 50% discount offer from leading UK hypnotherapist Adam Eason is still available at the time of writing.

To take advantage of that, go to

Beat Depression The Drug Free Way

A new and eagerly awaited book from Ian White, originator of Af-x® Therapy (and the only person ever to write an article exclusively for the Parental Intelligence Newsletter).

Beat Depression The Drug Free Way: Getting Better by Breaking the Myths

"Do You Really Know The Truth About Your Depression?"

Get the facts at

Beyond School: Living As If School Doesn't Exist

"This is homeschooling pioneer Wendy Priesnitz's long-awaited fourth book about life learning (also known as unschooling, radical unschooling, whole life unschooling, or self-education). Beyond School is a collection of seventeen essays about how families and individuals can live and learn without coercion or struggle, and with trust, respect, if school doesn't exist. Together, they create an impassioned but well reasoned case for a different way of helping children and young people learn about today's world while becoming equipped to live in tomorrow's world."

Please visit for more information

Free to Learn

"five ideas for a joyful unschooling life"

An excellent new book from Canadian unschooler Pam Laricchia for anyone thinking about homeschooling or unschooling. Pam has been writing on the subject of unschooling for many years and here she shares the five "paradigm-changing ideas" about learning and living that freed her family from the limitations of school. This book also contains substantial amounts of parenting wisdom! Did I mention it's only $2.99?

You can read more about Free to Learn here

Sandra Dodd World Tour

Unschooling legend Sandra Dodd (and colleague Joyce Fetteroll) are planning a visit to Australia some time in 2013. Brisbane and Adelaide are currently 'pencilled in' and I'm hoping it will also be possible to add Canberra to the itinerary. If this is of interest to you, please go here to subscribe to the updates.

The link below has details of Sandra Dodd's speaking appearances generally:

Thank you for reading the Parental Intelligence Newsletter!

The next issue of this newsletter will be published on or about 1 April 2012

Subscribe now and stay in touch

Published by Bob Collier, Canberra, Australia  

Email: bobcollier[at]parental-intelligence[dot]com 

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