The Parental Intelligence Newsletter

22 January 2012

Hi, this is Bob Collier inviting you to 'explore the psychology of happy and successful parenting', connect with bright minds, discover new ideas and sail outside the mainstream for a while without running aground.

All that and more.

In this issue of the Parental Intelligence Newsletter there are links to 23 articles and 6 notices and items of news. As always, I trust you will find in my latest collection of parenting, education and personal development ideas and information from around the internet something that will make a positive difference to your life - and, through you, to the lives of your children.

Please scroll down to pick and choose whatever is of interest and useful to you.

Thank you for being here! I appreciate this opportunity to be of help to you in your parenting adventure and wish you all the happiness and success you would wish yourself.

See you next time!




Cosleeping and Biological Imperatives: Why Human Babies Do Not and Should Not Sleep Alone
by James J. McKenna Ph.D.

Where a baby sleeps is not as simple as current medical discourse and recommendations against cosleeping in some western societies want it to be. And there is good reason why. I write here to explain why the pediatric recommendations on forms of cosleeping such as bedsharing will and should remain mixed. I will also address why the majority of new parents practice intermittent bedsharing despite governmental and medical warnings against it.

Definitions are important here.

Read more ...

Sleepy much? 10 Ways to Resist Going Down The Crying it Out Path
by mudpiemama

So, does your baby sleep through the night? Why don't you just let her cry? Sleep and nighttime parenting is one hot topic when it comes to newborns and babies and even into toddlerhood, and sleep is somehow something that is magically connected to "good" or "bad" parenting. No matter how much I wish for my child to sleep longer stretches, I have choosen not to go down the CIO path - it's not for our family, based on instinct and backed by science, it's just not what we are doing. Is it tempting? Sure, everyone needs a good night of sleep.

Read more ...

Educated, Scientific, Effective Parenting
from Positive Parenting

Positive Parenting is not some kind of new-age trend. This is effective, educated parenting backed by years of research from leading psychologists and neuroscientists who all concur that the traditional methods of discipline are harmful and ineffective and that loving, consistent, kind, responsive parenting makes healthier, happier, better behaved, morally sound children.

Read more ...

More Control - Less Power
by Ronit Baras

There are many parents out there who spend much of their time with their children trying to get them to do certain things, like homework or chores, or to teach them how to do things "right", like spelling words correct or spreading peanut butter without making a big mess. If you ever see these parents in action, there is one thing that jumps at you - they are stressed and almost everything their kids do makes them jump.

And that is no way to live.

Read more ...

Wholeness Not Perfectionism
by Chris White, M.D.

Sometimes when I speak about the importance of wholeness, I see signs of fear and stress appear in parent's faces. For some, Preserving Wholeness is just one more thing that they have to do in their already busy lives. For others who are really doing their best to give their son or daughter everything that they themselves never had as a child, it's another place where they may "fail" and cause harm to their beloved children. It is heartbreaking to me, and the last thing I want to do to is precipitate fear in you - possibly the most conscious generation of parents the world has ever seen. So let me put this issue of Preserving Wholeness in a context.

Read more ...

Being or Becoming?
by Chris White, M.D.

Should we spend our energy trying to help our children to become more competent, more disciplined, and grow into their full potential? Or should we simply let them be?

Read more ...

Be Friendly, Be Happy
by Ronit Baras

People are social creatures. They live in groups, they need the groups and they rely on the groups to survive. This creates some dependency that no one likes. Yes, some people need friends more than others do, but living on our own, not seeing or being in contact with the outside world, would bring an end to human kind.

Read more ...

Learning and Interpersonal Exchange
by mamapoekie

No man is an island, and certainly unschoolers are no exception. We are colored by the interactions with the people in our lives.

Read more ...

Is New Media Incompatable with Schooling?: An Interview with Rich Halverson
by Henry Jenkins

Digital media provides a path to personalizing and customizing learning that is often at odds with the batch processing model of, especially, K-12 schooling. This has meant that digitally literate young people have come to understand that there are at least two living channels for learning - 1) an institutional channel, and 2) a peer-driven, interest-driven, and unregulated digital media channel. The bifurcation of learning experiences for young people is bound to call the institutional identification of schooling and learning into question in the coming years.

Read more ...

In Praise of Homeschools
by Aaron Smith

The most admirable group of entrepreneurs is perhaps the least appreciated. Homeschool parents, or parentrepreneurs, are not waiting for politicians and technocrats to fix broken systems of education. Rather, they are eschewing the status quo and finding innovative ways to advance the intellectual, emotional, and spiritual growth of their children. Unlike their counterparts in the public sector, parentrepreneurs have achieved astounding results with humble budgets.

Read more ...

Quitting School
by Dale J. Stephens

I was lucky that my parents didn't oppose my decision to leave school.  Or if they did at the time, they didn't show it.  I recall that my Dad was a little taken a back when I told him that I was bored and wanted to do something else instead go to school, but when I presented unschooling as an alternative, he wasn't so worried.

Read more ...

The Innovative Educator's Guide to Getting Started with Unschooling
by Lisa Nielsen

I was introduced to the idea of unschooling by grown unschooler and writer Kate Fridkis who contacted me about submitting a guest post on my blog.  Before that, I had never heard the term.

It wasn't long before my fascination with unschooling became an obsession.  Learning without school? People did this? How'd they turn out? What did they do all day? How did they learn stuff?  Didn't they need school to learn? If they didn't learn things in the order and way schools said they should, how would they be prepared for life or college?

Read more ...

Becoming Couragous
by Deb Lewis

How to develop the courage and confidence it takes to unschool.

Read more ...

Education Insights: Unschooling Rules (A Book Review)
by Oliver DeMille

Once in a while a truly great book comes along that you just can't wait to tell everyone else to read. Unschooling Rules by Clark Aldrich is that kind of book.

Read more ...

Redefining unschooling technology
by Wendy Priesnitz

What's in a name? Lots, when it comes to describing something that's as emotionally and politically charged, not to mention as full of assumptions, as parenting and education.

In many cases, the terms "homeschooling," "deschooling," "unschooling," "home-based learning," "home-based education" and "self-directed learning" are used interchangeably. Unfortunately, there is no standardized terminology that everyone understands as describing the type of learning lifestyle that involves self-directed, non-tested, non-graded, non-curriculum, community-based learning from life.

Read more ...

The Great Screen Time Decision
by Wendy Priesnitz

Someone has told me that she is disappointed in my article in the current issue of Life Learning Magazine about kids and electronic media. (It's not online.) She didn't like the fact that I didn't tell readers whether they should allow unlimited computer access, or none, or police it.

Read more ...

Tech-savvy kids still prefer personal communication
by Jeremy Dickson
The new 2012 ChildWise Monitor survey takes a look at how children ages five to 16 years in the UK use technology and finds that despite unprecedented access to virtual worlds, children still prefer to communicate face to face.

Read more ...

Concerned about Your Child's College and Career Success? Leave School.
by Lisa Nielsen

When parents frustrated with school consider homeschooling, one of their first concerns is often this:

Will homeschooling limit my child's opportunities when it comes to college, career, and pursuing passions such as music and sports?

The answer in a word is:


Read more ...

Accredited Online Colleges on the Rise

The Internet is revolutionizing higher education: accredited online colleges are growing in size, traditional colleges are adopting online programs, and all trends indicate that distance learning is not only here to stay, but that it will make an unprecedented impact on the educational systems currently in place today. What kind of change will online college courses provoke in the paradigms of students, professors, and educational institutions in the coming years? Let's take a look.

Read more ...

Is It Ever Too Late to Learn Music?
by Tina Barseghian

They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks. But can you teach an old guitarist new licks? How about an old nonguitarist - not even a musician?

Gary Marcus isn't that old. He's actually in his early 40s, and he's a professor of psychology at NYU and an expert on cognitive development. Marcus decided to pick up the guitar to study musical learning, using himself as a guinea pig. His new book, Guitar Zero: The New Musician and the Science of Learning, documents that process. The title is an obvious homage to the video game Guitar Hero; Marcus says playing the game was what spurred him on to try playing music for real.

Read more ...

How The "10,000 Hour" Rule Can Benefit Any Child
by Laura Weldon

If you haven't heard about the 10,000 Hour Rule, you're probably busy doing what people do, living life on your own terms. But what you may not realize is how this rule affects young people, whether they have one all-consuming interest or not.

Read more ...

Creating is No Problem
by Robert Fritz

A lot of the self-help movement is based on, "you're unhappy, get happy!" You've got a problem? Get it fixed. Or, even worse, you are the problem. Get yourself fixed.

The thing about problem solving is you're taking action to have something go away-- The Problem. Creating is having something come into being-- The Creation. They are totally different.

Read more ...

Therapists revolt against psychiatry's bible
by Rob Waters

Since 1952, a tome called the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, better known as the DSM, has been reducing to a few digits the psychological malady said to afflict a patient. This bible of mental health treatment, published by the American Psychiatric Association (APA), provides a list and description of every mental health condition known to-or invented by-psychiatry, from histrionic personality disorder (301.50) to transvestic fetishism (302.3).

Read more ...


How I Parent

A short and hopefully useful instantly downloadable FREE e-book about how I've parented my own children.

Download your copy here (290KB) 

How to Use Hypnosis Effectively

My recently published "beginners guide to understanding and maximizing the benefits of hypnosis MP3s" has now been renamed How to Use Hypnosis Effectively.  A Kindle version will be available shortly.  In the meantime, I would like to share with you a special offer from one of the world's leading hypnotherapists, Adam Eason.

Currently, you can obtain a free pdf copy of my e-book from Adam's website that includes a bonus 50% discount offer on hypnosis products from his store.  I've been one of Adam Eason's satisfied customers since 2007 and have benefitted enormously from his knowledge, talents and expertise.  In fact, Adam Eason is the 'primary provider' of the hypnosis MP3s I use myself.

To find out more about Adam's work and to take advantage of the 50% discount offer, visit

[The download link for your free copy of my e-book is on a rotating display - you may see it immediately, otherwise please wait for it to appear in a very short while]

Why Dads Leave

A new book from John W. Travis and Meryn G. Callander, founder members of the Alliance for Transforming the Lives of Children (aTLC).

"Why We Wrote This Book

As the founder of the first wellness center in the US, John (better known as Jack) has been a leader in defining wellness as more than the generally recognized physical dimension of fitness, nutrition, and stress reduction. Jack was joined by Meryn in 1979, and since that time we have together pursued our passion to reclaim the original definitions of wellness to include the mental, emotional, social, spiritual, and planetary dimensions of wellbeing.

Our focus over the past two decades has been in the field of infant and child wellness. It is from this, and our own personal experiences in becoming parents, that we developed our hypothesis about why men leave, physically or emotionally, after the birth of a child. Our intention here is not to present the final word on this phenomenon, but to initiate an inquiry into the Dynamic of Disappearing Dads (DDD)."

Visit for more of the story

Beat Depression The Drug Free Way

A new and eagerly awaited book from Ian White, originator of Af-x® Therapy (and the only person ever to write an article exclusively for the Parental Intelligence Newsletter).

Beat Depression The Drug Free Way: Getting Better by Breaking the Myths

"Do You Really Know The Truth About Your Depression?"

Get the facts at

Free Sample of Life Learning Magazine

Life Learning Magazine "has been providing readers around the world with inspiration and information about unschooling and self-directed learning since 2002."

Here's an opportunity to read a PDF sample for free.  This is a time limited offer, I'm told, so if this is of interest to you, go here today:

Reality Is Broken

"More than 174 million Americans are gamers, and the average young person in the United States will spend ten thousand hours gaming by the age of twenty-one. According to world-renowned game designer Jane McGonigal, the reason for this mass exodus to virtual worlds is that videogames are increasingly fulfilling genuine human needs. In this groundbreaking exploration of the power and future of gaming, McGonigal reveals how we can use the lessons of game design to fix what is wrong with the real world."

Thank you for reading the Parental Intelligence Newsletter!

The next issue of this newsletter will be published on or about 5 February 2012

Subscribe now and stay in touch

Published by Bob Collier, Canberra, Australia  

Email: bobcollier[at]parental-intelligence[dot]com 

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