The Parental Intelligence Newsletter

8 January 2012

Hi, this is Bob Collier inviting you to 'explore the psychology of happy and successful parenting', connect with bright minds, discover new ideas and sail outside the mainstream for a while without running aground.

All that and more.

In this issue of the Parental Intelligence Newsletter there are links to 18 articles and 5 notices and items of news. As always, I trust you will find in my latest collection of parenting, education and personal development ideas and information from around the internet something that will make a positive difference to your life - and, through you, to the lives of your children.

Please scroll down to pick and choose whatever is of interest and useful to you.

Thank you for being here! I appreciate this opportunity to be of help to you in your parenting adventure and wish you all the happiness and success you would wish yourself.

See you next time!




Our Parenting Choices
by Pam Leo

From the moment we decide to have a child or find out that we are having a child we begin making important choices about how we will care for our children. Parenting our children will likely be the most important and challenging job any of us will ever have. The parenting choices we make daily are determined by the information and support we have at the time, our life circumstances, how we ourselves were raised and the parenting practices of our culture. Unlike all other important jobs, parenting is the one job for which we get no formal preparation, education or training.

Read more ...

Adultism, Part 2: The Unlearning
by Teresa Graham Brett, JD

In this second part of my article, I want to explore the manifestations of adultism in our culture and how, as parents and adults, we need to unlearn adultism in order to establish relationships with children based on mutual respect, trust, and freedom. Unlearning adultism also allows us to heal from our own past experiences as children who were controlled and disempowered in our culture.

Read more ...

Unnatural Consequences
by Sarah Fitz-Claridge

Most modern parenting books advocate using so-called 'natural consequences' to punish children, and devote much space to describing the relevant techniques. They don't call it punishment - indeed the technique itself requires one to deny that it is punishment - but it is something unpleasant that the parent is to decide should happen to the child when the child's behaviour deviates from the parent's wishes. So anyone who uses language decently would call it punishment.

Why else would they need to write a hundred pages on the subject, giving instructions for how to "employ" natural consequences? If they were indeed natural, there would be no need to explain in great detail how to "step back and allow the child to experience the natural consequences of his own actions".

Read more ...

The Only Kind of Discipline is Self-Discipline
by mamapoekie

You don't have to spend much time in the parenting sphere to know that discipline is a big thing: how to use it or not to use, when, what methods, what's effective... It is probably one of the most discussed topics on parenting fora and blogs.

However, the whole theorem of discipline is flawed.

Read more ...

Why school seems to make sense
by Joyce Fetteroll

"A large part of the reason that many parents send their children to school is free childcare."

Read more ...

A million-piece puzzle
by Joyce Fetteroll

The way schools get academics into kids goes against how we're naturally wired to learn. It's very hard for humans to memorize someone else's understanding of the world and then make sense of it. That's why it takes so long in school. It's why kids can "pass" classes and yet still have little practical understanding of what's been pushed in their heads.

Read more ...

New book by Steven Brill describes how schools do not work
by Judy Breck
Schools simply do not work as a way of teaching many individual children up to their potential. Schools do not work in teaching groups of children so that every child in a group has equal knowledge. Schools do not work so that a student in a failing inner city school has the same opportunity to learn as a student in affluent districts.

I have been reading Steven Brill's new book Class Warfare. After a few chapters it hits you in the face: schools cannot be fixed.

Read more ...

The Innovative Educator Dispels Popular Myths about Learning to Read and Write
by Lisa Nielsen

You know that license plate, "If you can read this, thank a teacher."? What if the truth was you didn't need a teacher to learn to read or write? What if in fact you might be able to read and write more effectively without one? There are many young people who are doing just that...learning to read and write without the benefit of schools or teachers. 

Read more ...

You can never replace the teacher. Or can you? 8 ways to learn without teachers.
by Lisa Nielsen

I learned nothing in school that was meaningful to me or that I used for success in life. All that just-in-case stuff was a 12-year-sentence that was wasted on me.

Read more ...

Learn how you can homeschool / unschool even if you have to work
by Lisa Nielsen

Many parents are becoming frustrated with an educational system with an agenda that does not put the well-being of children first. These parents realize that for many children, school is not the best option when it comes to raising a healthy, happy, child who loves learning. At the same time, more and more parents are sharing their positive experiences with home education through blogs, social media such as Facebook and Yahoo groups, podcasts, and more. While many parents are convinced that learning this way is the best for children, working parents often have a hard time imagining how they could do this.

Read more ...

My 12 Most Favorite Ways Unschooling Rules
by Lisa Nielsen

In his book Unschooling Rules, Clark Aldrich sets out to teach those who've been schooled, a thing or two about ed reform with insights and lessons from the world of homeschooling / unschooling.  Aldrich and I share this passion and knowledge that there are many lessons to be learned by studying those who have opted out of school and taken ownership of their learning and their life. We had the pleasure to speak together on the topic in this webcast. The book does an excellent job of sharing what really works for quality learning by identifying and framing 55 guidelines to successful learning that home/unschoolers have uncovered. 

Here are my 12 most favorite ideas from the book.

Read more ...

Educate Yourself - A Deeper Look At The "Unschooling" Movement
by Brendan Moore

What is the value of an education if it cripples your mind and empties your pocket? That's the question facing teens at the opening of the 21st century, only many of us don't seem to realize it. What are we told from day one? Make good grades, score well on the ACT, and get into a decent college. Major in something "practical," like accounting. Get a stable job, etc. But intellectuals in the 1970s proposed a radical alternative to this cookie-cutter solution, and in the past ten years, interest in this theory has revived significantly. It's called "unschooling," and it may be the solution to a problem most of us haven't even begun to understand.

Read more ...

Homeschool Australia on The Art of Education
by Beverley Paine

My life's passion is summed up in Linda Dobson's opening to her anniversary edition of The Art of Education: "I'm forever a homeschool advocate, because I know life and learning beyond the confines of school make for happier, healthier, saner adults with a strong sense of purpose and the ability to thrive and attain success to the best of their abilities, and I want to see as many families and children benefit from the practice as possible."

Read more ...

What Do Homeschooled Adults Have to Say?
by Linda Dobson

Homeschooled children grow up. We can learn from them. Here's what some of them had to say when interviewed for Homeschoolers' Success Stories: 15 Adults and 12 Young People Share the Impact That Homeschooling Has Made on Their Lives by Linda Dobson. (All facts relevant as of copyright year 2000.)

Read more ...

The Many Benefits, for Kids, of Playing Video Games
by Peter Gray

Quite a few parents have asked me, at talks I've given, about the advisability of their limiting their kids' computer play. Others have told me that they do limit their kids' computer play, or their total daily "screen time," in a tone that seemed to suggest that any reasonable parent would do that.

People who have been reading this blog can probably guess my reaction.

Read more ...

7 Reasons Why I Became a Dissident Psychologist
by Bruce Levine

Why do some of us become dissident mental health professionals?

The majority of psychiatrists, psychologists, and other mental health professionals "go along to get along" and maintain a status quo that includes drug company corruption, pseudoscientific research, and a "standard of care" that is routinely damaging and occasionally kills young children. If that sounds hyperbolic, then you probably have not heard of Rebecca Riley, and how the highest levels of psychiatry described her treatment as "appropriate and within responsible professional standards."

Read more ...

On Guilt
by Andrew Austin

As emotions go, guilt is one of the most useless ones.  It serves minimal positive function and can serve to really ruin a person's day and render them foolish.  Unlike some emotions, guilt is not time dependent - it doesn't fade over time.  It lurks.

Read more ...

New Year's Resolve
by Robert Fritz

First, it must be said, people are in earnest when they make their New Year's resolutions. They really do want to lose weight, live a healthier lifestyle, be more productive, spend their time more creatively. But the motivation is from a problem-oriented foundation. They are not thinking in terms of outcomes they want to bring into being, but solutions to what they see as their life-problems.

Read more ...


How I Parent

A short and hopefully useful instantly downloadable FREE e-book about how I've parented my own children.

Download your copy here (290KB) 

How to Use Hypnosis Effectively

My recently published "beginners guide to understanding and maximizing the benefits of hypnosis MP3s" has now been renamed How to Use Hypnosis Effectively.  A Kindle version will be available shortly.  In the meantime, I would like to share with you a special offer from one of the world's leading hypnotherapists, Adam Eason.

Currently, you can obtain a free pdf copy of my e-book from Adam's website that includes a bonus 50% discount offer on hypnosis products from his store.  I've been one of Adam Eason's satisfied customers since 2007 and have benefitted enormously from his knowledge, talents and expertise.  In fact, Adam Eason is the 'primary provider' of the hypnosis MP3s I use myself.

To find out more about Adam's work and to take advantage of the 50% discount offer, visit

[The download link for your free copy of my e-book is on a rotating display - you may see it immediately, otherwise please wait for it to appear in a very short while]

Beat Depression The Drug Free Way

A new and eagerly awaited book from Ian White, originator of Af-x® Therapy (and the only person ever to write an article exclusively for the Parental Intelligence Newsletter).

Beat Depression The Drug Free Way: Getting Better by Breaking the Myths

"Do You Really Know The Truth About Your Depression?"

Get the facts at

Rethinking Everything PARENT

"Rethinking Everything PARENT is a magazine of deeply connected, radically alternative ways of nurturing children,
from pregnancy and birthing, infancy to teen, even into adulthood and beyond."

It's FREE and the inaugural issue is now available for download.

Go to

50 Awesome Posts About Interest-Led Learning & Unschooling From 2011

From the blog of former school teacher Christina Pilkington:

"Here a list of 50 of my favorite posts about unschooling or interest-led learning from this past year.  These posts have brought me inspiration and great ideas ..."

View the list at

Thank you for reading the Parental Intelligence Newsletter!

The next issue of this newsletter will be published on or about 22 January 2012

Subscribe now and stay in touch

Published by Bob Collier, Canberra, Australia  

Email: bobcollier[at]parental-intelligence[dot]com 

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