The Parental Intelligence Newsletter

23 October 2011

Hi, this is Bob Collier inviting you to 'explore the psychology of happy and successful parenting', connect with bright minds, discover new ideas and sail outside the mainstream for a while without running aground.

All that and more.

In this issue of the Parental Intelligence Newsletter there are links to 17 articles and 3 notices and items of news. As always, I trust you will find in my latest collection of parenting, education and personal development ideas and information from around the internet something that will make a positive difference to your life - and, through you, to the lives of your children.

Please scroll down to pick and choose whatever is of interest and useful to you.

Thank you for being here! I appreciate this opportunity to be of help to you in your parenting adventure and wish you all the happiness and success you would wish yourself.

See you next time!




Crying for Comfort: Distressed Babies Need to be Held
by Aletha Solter, Ph.D.

Originally published in Mothering Magazine, Issue 122 January/February 2004

Copyright © 2004 by Aletha Solter. All rights reserved. No part of this article may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical (including copying to other web sites, and including translations), without written permission from Aletha Solter.

Read the complete article here ...

Why Young Children Protest Bedtime: A Story of Evolutionary Mismatch
by Peter Gray

Infants and young children in our culture regularly protest going to bed.  They make all sorts of excuses. They say they are not tired, when in fact they obviously are tired. They say they are hungry, or thirsty, or need to hear a story (and then one more story)-anything to stall.  They talk about being afraid of the dark, or afraid of monsters in the closet or under the bad.  Little babies without language, who can't yet describe their fears or try to negotiate, just scream.

Read more ...

It's official: to protect baby's brain, turn off the TV
by Brandon Keim,

A decade ago, the American Academy of Pediatrics suggested that parents limit TV consumption by children under two years of age. The recommendations were based as much on common sense as science, because studies of media consumption and infant development were themselves in their infancy.

The research has finally grown up. And though it's still ongoing, it's mature enough for the AAP to release a new, science-heavy policy statement on babies watching television, videos or any other passive media form.

Read more ...

Babies and Toddlers Should Learn from Play, Not Screens
from ScienceDaily

The temptation to rely on media screens to entertain babies and toddlers is more appealing than ever, with screens surrounding families at home, in the car, and even at the grocery store. And there is no shortage of media products and programming targeted to little ones.

But a new policy statement from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) says there are better ways to help children learn at this critical age.

Read more ...

Myth Series #2: Kids Need a Parent, Not a Friend
by Jeff Sabo

I've been at this whole conscious/gentle parenting thing for a few years now, and I have heard just about every possible criticism of my parenting style from people who are convinced that more traditional methods are the way to go. Some of that criticism has been predictable and easy to deflect, like comments about bedtimes or educational choices. Other swipes have been harder to deal with, like spanking and forcing food choices. But of all of the comments I have received, the one that perplexes me the most is this one, Myth #2:

"You're supposed to be their parent, not their friend."

Read more ...

Fun Theory
by Laura Weldon

I'm not aware of any official Fun Theory in the field of learning. But fun shimmers under the surface of motivation and focus like a very big fish. And the fish named Fun shouldn't be ignored.

I lifted the term Fun Theory from a Volkswagen campaign.

Read more ...

Education is Individualistic
by Clark Aldrich

As long as you aren't distracted by the school systems, the goal of education is fairly straightforward.

Read more ...

The Art of Education: Part 1 of 4
by Linda Dobson

This is the first in a four-part series on what education really is, and how families may provide true education for their children.

You say you think today's education system is failing? You must be talking about declining academic test scores or violence or illiteracy, then. That way it is failing. But look a little closer. That's not the real business of education.

Read more ...

One Parent's Demand for the Truth About the Legality of Homeschooling
by Attorney Deborah Stevenson

Nothing makes me angrier than a lie, except when a lie is repeated so often that people believe it to be truth. I'm sick of lies, distorted truth, spin, and revisionist history. Can we just get back to reality? Can we just hold people accountable for their purposeful distortions?

Can we just set the record straight?

Read more ...

Why did I Choose Home Ed over School?
by Laurette Lynn

Homeschooling, unschooling, home educating, call it what you will it's all the same thing.  So here are the reasons that our family chose to unplug from (or really never plug into) school.  Opting out of School offers the following benefits ...

Read more ...

Homeschooling May Be a Lot Cheaper Than You Think
by Linda Dobson

Have you ever thought about how much money you wouldn't spend, and therefore wouldn't have to make, if you stayed home to educate and enjoy your children? Across the nation families are realizing the cost of a paycheck - in terms of taxes, time and worth when compared to their children's futures - is too steep. It just might pay - literally - to take a close look at the answers to several questions in The Homeschooling Book of Answers: The 101 Most Important Questions Answered By Homeschooling's Most Respected Voices. Your job could be more expensive than you ever realized.

Read more ...

Partner with Your Children
by Donna Vail

What children need is love and compassion; honestly it's what we all need. Men were not created to rule over each other but rather walk beside each other, encouraging one another. By demonstrating this to our children we are preparing them for right relationships throughout all facets of their lives.

We are all students, learning and growing, just as we are also teachers. While you're increasing and growing in knowledge and skill, so will your children. As a parent you cannot expect your child to get to where you want them to be without walking the path beside them and modeling. Don't we all hate to be in the situation -"Do as I say not as I do?"

Read more ...

Yesterday on Today
by Lisa Cottrell-Bentley

As many of you know by now, my family was on The Today Show yesterday, October 14, 2011. Many people have sent me private and public messages about our appearance. Some sent congratulatory messages, some wonder what kind of feedback we're getting, some want to know our thoughts about the segment, some want our advice about Unschooling, and some want to tell us that we're crazy or other such sentiments. I've appreciated all the feedback I've received, both positive and negative. It's been useful information to me as my family continues being Unschooling advocates.

To make our views public, we've decided to write up this blog post saying our views about the segment. Although this is in first person, my entire family had input on this post and agrees with it.

Read more ...

A Mindful Lifestyle
by Sandra Dodd

Although unschooling is often described as a homeschooling style, it is, in fact, much more than just another homeschool teaching method. Unschooling is both a philosophy of natural learning and the lifestyle that results from living according to the principles of that philosophy.

Read more ...

Why You Can't Let Go
by Joyce Fetteroll

Many unschoolers, even though they embrace unschooling, still feel an occasional guilty attraction to curriculum. It would be comforting to sometimes have someone hold our hand to help us guide our children. We know the benefits of unschooling outweigh the benefits of some comfort, and yet, still ...

So what is it that's so drawing about curriculum? By curriculum I mean anything that's designed to get kids from where they are to where we want them to be, be it a full year in a box or a math workbook. Why is it so attractive?

Read more ...

Unschooler's Pipe Wrench
by Deb Lewis

Unschoolers sometimes talk about having tools in their toolbox. No, unschoolers are not all plumbers. They're referring to a store of good ideas to shop around in to help in this business of living. I have one tool I use more than any other. A pipe wrench! No, it's humor.

I think humor is an especially useful tool for unschoolers. It's useful in the same way a pipe wrench is useful. You can clobber Aunt Martha with it when she's hounding you about how your kid spells "plumer," but it's better than a pipe wrench in that there's no body to dispose of and no awkward explanations to family members and forensics experts.

Read more ...

Will Dropouts Save America?
by Michael Ellsberg

American academia is good at producing writers, literary critics and historians. It is also good at producing professionals with degrees. But we don't have a shortage of lawyers and professors. America has a shortage of job creators. And the people who create jobs aren't traditional professionals, but start-up entrepreneurs.

Read more ...


Rethinking Everything Publishing

"Rethinking Everything publishes 3 magazines, each devoted to rich, first hand stories of deeply personal transformation and change."

"Our PARENT magazine publishes stories of empowered birthing, deeply connected relationships with children, wide & varied ways parents have stepped outside the cultural mainstream & created powerful and magical lives with their children."

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Australian National Home Education Week

"National Home Education Week is an annual event on the Australian Homeschool Calendar that is an iniative of the HEA [Home Education Association].

This year our Australian National Home Education Week will occur during the week of 21st - 25th November 2011

As a feature of the week, we offer you a joint collaboration between Jenni Domansky of Australian Homeschool Network and Beverley Paine of Homeschool Australia - A series of online workshops and forums.

Find out more at

Always Learning Live Unschooling Symposium

December 28-31, 2011

Albuquerque, New Mexico, USA

Find out more at

Thank you for reading the Parental Intelligence Newsletter!

The next issue of this newsletter will be published on or about 13 November 2011

Subscribe now and stay in touch

Published by Bob Collier, Canberra, Australia  

Email: bobcollier[at]parental-intelligence[dot]com 

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