The Parental Intelligence Newsletter

4 September 2011

Hi, this is Bob Collier inviting you to 'explore the psychology of happy and successful parenting', connect with bright minds, discover new ideas and sail outside the mainstream for a while without running aground.

All that and more.

In this issue of the Parental Intelligence Newsletter there are links to 17 articles and 5 notices and items of news. As always, I trust you will find in my latest collection of parenting, education and personal development ideas and information from around the internet something that will make a positive difference to your life - and, through you, to the lives of your children.

Please scroll down to pick and choose whatever is of interest and useful to you.

Thank you for being here! I appreciate this opportunity to be of help to you in your parenting adventure and wish you all the happiness and success you would wish yourself.

See you next time!




Birth Matters...And So Do Mothers and Kids
by Wendy Priesnitz

I've written elsewhere that when I was a young mother, I wore a t-shirt with the words: "The hand that rocks the cradle rocks the boat." I understood at the time that becoming a mother was increasing my desire to create change in the world, although I didn't know where that would lead me. I had already challenged a few assumptions about how life was supposed to work - including rejecting the way in which I'd been born, the style in which I'd been parented, and the institution of school as an effective vehicle for education.

Read more ...

Do YOU Have A Choice?
by Karyn Van Der Zwet

When Germaine Greer wrote  The Female Eunuch, at the height of The Feminist Revolution, she suggested that motherhood should not be considered a substitute to a career. By the time she wrote The Whole Woman in 1999, she had done a complete 180 degree turn and called for proper state-funding for Stay at Home Mums.

Read more ...

Gentle Nurturance=Gentle World?
by Laura Weldon

Gentle nurturance resounds through a child's entire life, bringing forth a greater potential for happiness and success. Children treated with love and consideration become adults who treat others well too.

Read more ...

My Starter Kit for Unconditional Parenting
by MaMammalia

After reading Kohn's amazing book, Unconditional Parenting, I took the author's advice to heart:  I contemplated my long-term goals for my toddler son. What kind of person do I want to raise? What kind of relationship do I want to have with him when he's an adult? I surprised myself a little when my answer to the first question didn't include success or happiness. What I really care about is that Munchkin grow up to be a good person. I also hope that we will maintain a strong, healthy connection. Good person, good relationship. That's it.

Read more ...

Cosleeping: Real Men Sleep with Their Kids
by Terry Bain

My son is asleep downstairs, in my bed. He's been sleeping in my bed every night for over two years. This is where he should sleep. This is where all my children will sleep. I can't imagine it any other way.

Read more ...

Real Dads Speak Softly and with Kind Words
by Dan Pearce

If one wishes to hear hurtful and harming words directed towards a child, he only need step into a public place frequented by families and listen for a few moments. It is this very truth that has filled me with a great urgency to write this book. It is this very reality that has brought me to the edge of discomfort more times than I can number, and on more than one occasion has left my face stained by tears that could be held back no longer.

Read more ...

7 Steps to Let Go of Anger
by Adam Eason

Often when a closed fist is mentioned, people might think about it being a symbol of anger, a symbol of might or strength, or maybe as a symbol of violence. Others might perceive a closed fist as a sign of aggression, or celebration, or as a means to inspire someone. For some, it represents power or a sense of freedom, and it is a sense of freedom that I want to promote within today's newsletter; using a fist and combining it with hypnosis for great therapeutic effect to help let go of anger.

Read more ...

Learning through unstructured play helps kids develop
by Julie Deardorff
Roughhousing, or tossing your children around on purpose, can be a hard sell to many parents. We worry our kids will get hurt. We don't want rowdy behavior carrying over into the classroom, especially in schools with no-touching policies. And many of us aren't really even sure how to physically interact with our kids.

Read more ...

The Play is the Thing: Play and the Child's Sense of Self
by Marilyn Wedge, Ph.D.

The loss of free play means a loss of creativity.

Read more ...

Family Happiness and the Overbooked Child
by Alina Tugend
I live in an area where most parents would rather cut back on indulgences for themselves than stop paying for their children's activities.
Learning to play a musical instrument may bring a child lifelong joy, but don't count on it to reveal hidden genius.
Music lessons, gymnastics, horseback riding, tutoring, summer-long residential camps, sports teams - the list goes on and on. Often, so do the costs.

And even if the money is not there, some parents find a way. I know people who have borrowed from family, used home equity accounts and run up their credit cards to pay for all the stuff they believe their children just cannot miss.

Read more ...

Rejecting A Pre-Packaged Life
by Sandra Dodd

How many things do you do because you're supposed to, because your relatives and neighbors expect it, because it's easy and you don't have to think about it? How many of those things are taking you and your kids in a positive and healthy direction?

"Changing paradigms" is an option! If you're operating on one plane, with one set of rules and expectations, it is possible and often advisable, to shift and see things differently. It's just thinking. It won't hurt you.

Read more ...

Just One of the Many Reasons to Choose Homeschooling for Your Family
by Linda Dobson

Have you ever asked yourself "why" the practice of homeschooling is spreading such a wide swath through the core of America, encompassing families from every economic, religious, geographical and age spectrum?

Today's parents didn't attend the schools their parents attended. Today's children do not attend the schools today's parents attended. There has been a progressive and steady decline in value of any education received inside school doors.

Read more ...

'Unschooling' Gaining Popularity, Allows Children Alternative Learning Tools
by Leanne Italie

School's never out for 14-year-old Zoe Bentley. Nor is it ever in.

The perky teen from Tucson, Ariz., explores what she likes, when she likes as deeply as she chooses every day of the year. As an "unschooler," Zoe is untethered from the demands of traditional, compulsory education.

Read more ...

What Is, And Isn't Unschooling
from An Unschooling Life

Unschooling isn't so much a method, as it is a way of looking at learning. It's seeing the learning in everything. To me, it's much more than just dropping the curriculum, although that's an excellent place to start.

It's changing the way you view learning and education.

Read more ...

Raising Free Range Children
by kronosmatters

I never sent my kids to school. Partly that was just inertia, there were so many details involved, choosing a school was the least of it, after that there was registration and registration required proof of vaccination, and that required a trip to the doctor and when push came to shove it seemed like an awful lot of work. And it wasn't just that, sending kids to school meant getting up early, waking kids up, kids who might be cranky about being woken up, getting us all dressed and out of the house in a timely manner (which, in turn, meant getting up early enough to take care of the entire menagerie before leaving). It meant having something prepared for their lunch box. Worse, it meant having to face hordes of other people's children early in the morning. I didn't like the din of the schoolyard when I was a child, and I haven't really changed my opinion since.

Read more ...

20 Unschooling Questions: Frank from Seattle, WA
from Do Life Right

One in a series of Q&As "to help more people understand how differently Unschooling can look in different families, yet still be wildly wonderful".

Read more ...

No thank you, we'll stay plugged
by Jennifer McGrail

The CBS show, The Doctors says:  "Studies show that one in 10 kids is seriously addicted to videogames and media, and those who watch more than four hours of TV per day are at greater risk of heart disease as they grow older."

I heard this on their show yesterday (it's also printed on the synopsis on their website) and aside from an initial feeling of annoyance that television is being vilified again... you know what?  Not annoyance.  Boredom.  I'm bored from repeatedly hearing about this kind of study, and frustrated that they don't have something more worthwhile to share with us. 

Read more ...


Essential Parenting

"Essential Parenting is an insight-based and practice-oriented parent education program that optimizes the developmental potential of both children and their parents. Essential Parenting classes will empower you to open beyond judgments and reactivity and return you to your innately wise, intuitive, and loving heart. In doing so, we support our children in becoming more fully themselves, creating a ripple effect of wholeness, confidence, and well-being in our communities and on our planet."

The new look website of Christopher White M.D., creator of The Essential Parenting Home Course.

For inspiration, please visit

Birth Rights are Human Rights

"The rights of Australian women to choose where and how they give birth are under threat by increasingly restrictive legislation, professional guidelines and the demands of insurance companies."

Find out more about Homebirth Australia's campaign to protect women's rights to homebirths

The new website of Don Asbridge, formerly Editor of The KOG, the online gazette of the Kern Association of School Psychologists, now Editor of The XOG - The XPsych Online Gazette.

Read more about XPsychology and Donald Asbridge here

Read "Time to drop diagnosis in the schools?", "Time to drop mandatory attendance?", "Do you realize that no one knows what a learning disability is?" and other "ClassiX" from The KOG here

Australian Unschooling Conference Retreat

October 28-November 1, 2011

Airlie Beach, Queensland, Australia

Find out more at

Always Learning Live Unschooling Symposium

December 28-31, 2011

Albuquerque, New Mexico, USA

Find out more at

Thank you for reading the Parental Intelligence Newsletter!

The next issue of this newsletter will be published on or about 25 September 2011

Subscribe now and stay in touch

Published by Bob Collier, Canberra, Australia  

Email: bobcollier[at]parental-intelligence[dot]com 

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