The Parental Intelligence Newsletter


June 2009


Hi, this is Bob Collier inviting you to 'explore the psychology of happy and successful parenting', connect with bright minds, discover new ideas and sail outside the mainstream for a while without running aground.

All that and more.

In this month's issue of the Parental Intelligence Newsletter there are links to 11 articles and 25 notices and items of news. As always, I trust you will find in my latest collection of parenting, education and personal development ideas and information from around the internet something that will make a positive difference to your life - and, through you, to the lives of your children.

Please scroll down to pick and choose whatever is of interest and useful to you.

Thank you for being here! I appreciate this opportunity to be of help to you in your parenting adventure and wish you all the happiness and success you would wish yourself.

See you next month!

Bob


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"Nothing you become will disappoint me; I have no preconception that I'd like to see you be or do. I have no desire to foresee you, only to discover you. You cannot disappoint me." - Mary Haskell
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BOOK REVIEW


Raising Intuitive Children by Caron B. Goode, ED.D. and Tara Paterson

A review by Jenna Forrest, author of the powerful memoir, Help Is On Its Way: A Memoir About Growing Up Sensitive

"Are you, or is your child a physically gifted intuitive, a creative-inspired intuitive, an empathic intuitive, a psychic intuitive or a spiritual intuitive? Reading Raising Intuitive Children will tell you. The book is like a reflection of the insides of the children and adults who are living in the world today, discovering their gift of intuitive intelligence. If you are a teacher, parent or caretaker of a creative inspired artist, an empathic feeler, a spiritual psychic, or a physically gifted child, this book will help you understand in concrete terms how intuition plays an important role in the development of these children. The book also offers effective suggestions to get parents feeling confident - not only about parenting their children, but about exploring their own intuitive natures.

With chapter titles like, Parenting Styles and the Intuitive Child, The Power of Optimistic Emotion and Empowerment and Intuition, I found it hard to put the book down. As I was reading, I could quickly see that this book will be as valuable to teachers as it already is to parents. Further, I believe it is uniquely affirming to the intuitive adult who grew up before the term intuitive intelligence ever existed.

As I read, I noted tips on protecting the intuitive development of children, such as limiting TV viewing and time spent on computer or playing electronic games; scheduling time for imaginative play (just as you would schedule music lessons, swimming, dance or sports); allowing children to bask in the peace of  "doing nothing" or "just being" at times; and setting up rituals.

As a coach for sensitive, empathic people, I found the section on Emotional Support for Empathic Intuitives to be very helpful, validating, enjoyable and thorough. Some of the valuable statements from this section were as follows:

"All children want to be understood and respected for their feelings, but empathic children specifically need to be validated so they can focus and release. Otherwise avoided or suppressed emotions become stored in the body, causing more stress."

"Intuitive children with sensitivities are easily overwhelmed by environmental overload. The overload can be loud sounds, lights, emotional discord, mental overload, or intuitive bombardment…(They) have faster reflexes, are more affected by pain, medications and stimulants, have a more reactive immune system and more allergies."

"Children from emotionally toxic environments who are conditioned to fail can feel it to be a life sentence. A safe environment in which a loving adult meets their needs is mandatory for the building of self-confidence and security."

"Purposeful, empathic touch to regulate and support and intuitive child's physiology tells the nervous system to be resilient and calm…Through empathic touch, you teach an intuitive child to trust his sense of feeling and his body's messages. By pairing touch with empathy you teach the child to calm himself."

"To support an emotional empath, strengthen emotional energy… and empower resilience so they can interact with the environment, not withdraw from it."

"A mentor, whether a parent, sibling, neighbor, or schoolteacher can help sensitive children negotiate adversity by talking about it."

This book allows each of us to recognize the foundations of intuition as they express themselves in each individual child, while also offering valuable  practical solutions. You will likely find your child meeting different characteristics described in this book as your child grows. I highly recommend keeping this book as a reference and using it as a tool to introduce other parents to the topic as they begin to recognize intuitive intelligence in the children around them."


Copyright © 2009, Jenna Forrest

To learn more about Raising Intuitive Children, please visit www.raisingintuitivechildren.com

Listen to a podcast of Dr. Caron Goode discussing how to raise intuitive children



FEATURE ARTICLE


Parents and Friends
by Pam Sorooshian

I was just reading a news article and someone was quoted as saying: ""Your kids don't need a 40-year-old friend. They need a parent,"

What a tragic dichotomy that one little line sets up!

Every single time that line has ever entered my head, it was leading me in the wrong direction. Every time.

What is a friend? I'm not talking about the schoolmates teenagers go out partying and drinking with. Not talking about the 5 year old kid your child happens to play with at the park that day. I'm talking about real friendship.

Friend: one attached to another by affection or esteem
[Merriam-Webster]

Knowing what I know now, with my kids grown, I strongly feel that that that one line, which permeates parental consciousnesses, should be quickly and actively contradicted and rooted out like a pernicious weed every single time it sprouts up.

Instead of "You're the parent, not their friend," substitute, "Be the very very best friend to them you can possibly be."

Do your kids need you to be their "40 year old friend?" YES! Children do need to feel attached to their parents "by affection or esteem." What better connection is there than by affection and esteem?

AND, what's more, parents need their children's friendship, too. Some people seem to think there is something wrong with parents "needing" their children.  They act like being mutually attached to each other means children have not become independent enough and parents are being a "burden to their children."

A 40 year old friend isn't going to have the same relationship with a 5 year old as his/her 5 year old friends or 10 year old friends. And parent-child friendships evolve over the years until they are, eventually, adult-with-adult friendships.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be your child's friend. Do what it takes to earn their friendship - be supportive and kind and honest and trustworthy and caring and generous and loyal and fun and interesting and interested in them and all the other things that good friends are to each other. Be the best 40 year old friend you can be (or whatever age you are).

People use "I'm the parent, not a friend," as an excuse to be mean, selfish, and lazy. Instead, be the adult in the friendship. Be mature. You've BEEN a five-year-old and your child has not been a forty-year-old, so you have an advantage in terms of long-term and wider perspective. Use that advantage to be an even better friend. You know how to be kinder and less self-centered and you know how beneficial it is to put forth the effort.

I can honestly say that my children and I are friends. I know they'd say the same. I'm not trying to act like I'm 18 or 21 or 24 -- I am 57 years old. They're having a "Halo" party at someone else's house tonight and will stay up all night playing video games and I'm not going to go and hang out with them all night and play Halo. I'm going to make a huge platter of deviled eggs for them to take over there, but I'm going to stay home and watch a movie with my husband and go to bed early enough that I'll feel good tomorrow. I'm not 18 and I don't recover as quickly as they do from a night with no sleep. I didn't go to the midnight showing of the Terminator movie the other night, for the same reason. But I was certainly invited and welcome.

My kids are not spoiled brats because I've tried to be their friend. They hold jobs, they manage money, they make good and responsible decisions. We are very strongly "attached by affection and esteem."

I wish I could wipe that expression out of everybody's minds and replace it with "Be the best friend to your children that you can be."


Copyright
© 2009, Pam Sorooshian


This article was adopted from a forum post at the Yahoo! group Always Learning

Read more about Pam Sorooshian here



ARTICLE LINKS


To Be a Baby
by Evan Lerner

Thomas Nagel famously asked, "What is it like to be a bat?" That question has become a staple of Philosophy 101 courses, but we might be better served asking a more basic one: What is it like to be a baby? Though all of us experience life as a baby firsthand, we've long held misconceptions about what babies are capable of thinking, feeling, and understanding. Only recently have we overturned dominant theories of development in which very young children were thought to be barely conscious at all.   

Read more ...

Thank you for that item to Rick King via aTLC


Four things you won't like hearing
by Kris Laroche

Thing one: your child's needs matter more than your own.

A child's brain is formed based on the quality of our interactions with them. We cannot ignore the importance of this in favor of what's more convenient for us.

Read more ...


Feminism, fathers and valuing parenthood
by phd in parenting

"I think we need a society that values parenthood, not just motherhood. Otherwise it will always be about making concessions for women."

Read more ...


How Using Social Media Has Helped Me Be a Better Dad
by Jeremy Biser

A few years ago, I didn't even know what "social media" was.

I read the newspaper, a few magazines and when I went online it was for work or to manage my fantasy sports teams. I thought a blog was something that people used to share pictures with their family members, and My Space was the place where pervs and wannabe musicians hung out to seduce young girls.

Read more ...


Developing Choices about the Emotions we Experience with NLP
by Jules Collingwood (Life and Business Coach, NLP Trainer Assessor)

What is an emotion? Most people if asked, would identify a noticeable set of sensations (feeling) that they experience in response to a sight, sound and or touch from the world, or in response to something they were thinking about (internal representations). They would not necessarily take ownership of their response, nor would they necessarily recognize it as part of their own thinking process, which in fact, it is.

Read more ...


Is Gifted and Talented a Life Sentence?
by Jonathan Fields

I recently finished reading a book that blew me away, called Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.

Unlike so many other books that have the words "mindset" and "success" in the title, this was a serious book that steered clear of pop psychology and soundbites and offered a simple, yet astonishingly empowering concept that will forever change the way I approach challenges…and teach my daughter to do the same.

Read more ...


Textbook rant
by Seth Godin

I've spent the last few months looking at marketing textbooks. I'm assuming that they are fairly representative of textbooks in general, and since this is a topic I'm interested in, it seemed like a good area to focus on.

As far as I can tell, assigning a textbook to your college class is academic malpractice.

Read more ...


Q&A: How to raise 'global students'
by Greg Toppo, USA Today

In 2005, with college looming for their four teenagers, Maya and Tom Frost sold their Oregon home and moved the family to Mexico. They weren't wealthy (the couple earned "five figures - together") but were able to save $3,000 a month to put toward college costs. And they did much more than that. They broke the traditional mold of how to educate a child, helping each daughter get a global education while accruing no debt.

Read more ...


Unschooling is homeschooling without the school part
by Jennifer Patterson

Unschoolers 'homeschool' without any curriculum. It's what life probably looked like before schooling was institutionalized.

Read more ...


Great Thinkers on Self-Education: John Holt
by Jamie Littlefield

John Holt (1923-1985) was a teacher and controversial education writer who advocated school reform and ultimately became one of the forces behind the homeschooling movement of the 70's and 80's.

Read more ...


Surprise! Daydreaming Really Works the Brain
by LiveScience Staff

Got a tough problem to solve? Try daydreaming.

Contrary to the notion that daydreaming is a sign of laziness, letting the mind wander can actually let the parts of the brain associated with problem-solving become active, a new study finds.

Read more ...



NOTICE BOARD


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ADHD RESEARCH - Help Wanted

"Does your child have ADHD or regularly display behaviours typical of ADHD? If so, then you are invited to participate in a 30 minute online survey regarding parents' understanding of ADHD-type behaviours. Whether you believe ADHD is a medical condition or not, as a parent or guardian, you are considered the expert for your child and so your views will be highly regarded. To complete the survey go to www.adhdsurvey.com.au. Your assistance in this important research is much appreciated."

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Neuro-Linguistic Programming: Liberating Parents

A new and different parenting book from Australian NLP Consultant and Life Coach Keith Gilbert.

"... this is what Liberating Parents is all about.  It is training for parents so that you can learn the essential processes for creating, maintaining and enjoying mental and emotional health and wellbeing. And when you have these skills and use them on a daily basis then you become a model for your children of a balanced, creative and free individual… which is exactly what you want for your children!"

My favourite parenting book ever.

Visit Keith Gilbert's Neuro Linguistic Parents website for more information

Join the Liberating Parents group at Facebook


How I Parent

A short and hopefully useful instantly downloadable ebook about how I've parented my own children.

Read more about that here 


Guiding Stars of the New Parenting Movement

Be sure to download your FREE copy of my Guiding Stars of the New Parenting Movement ebooks while you're here if you haven't done so already.

There are two volumes so far. These ebooks are FREE with my compliments and are packed with valuable insights and useful ideas to help you in your parenting adventure.

Volume 1 - an introduction to the work of Michael Mendizza, Robin Grille, Laura Ramirez, Jan Hunt, Pam Leo, Pat and Larry Downing, Alfie Kohn, Marc Prensky, Kali Wendorf and Jan Fortune-Wood:

Download it from here  

Volume 2 - an introduction to the work of Aletha Solter, Kim Wildner, Naomi Aldort, John Travis and Meryn Callander, John Breeding, Scott Noelle, Beverley Paine and Alan Wilson

Download it from here


Kindred Magazine

"Kindred magazine is created to support and give voice to the embryonic but powerfully essential movement towards conscious parenting and conscious living happening all around the world. It is in honour of that revolutionary movement everywhere, be it large or small, public or personal, that Kindred addresses issues ahead of mainstream media. It brings cutting edge research and information from pioneers in all fields relating to the well being of our human family and the world we live in.

Courageously exploring social, political, spiritual, global and environmental issues, it is the first and only such magazine in Australia and one of only a few in the world."

For more information about the latest issue and to subscribe please visit the Kindred Magazine website 

Subscribe to Kindred Magazine's between issues newsletter Kindred Spirit

Kindred Magazine on Facebook

Kindred Magazine on Twitter


Natural Child News

The Natural Child Project's free monthly newsletter.

Subscribe to Natural Child News here   

A personal message from The Natural Child Project founder Jan Hunt


Connection Parenting

A standout book by parent educator Pam Leo recommended by the Alliance for Transforming the Lives of Children.   

"Connection parenting is parenting through connection instead of coercion, through love instead of fear."

Get all the details at www.connectionparenting.com


Parenting For A Peaceful World
 
"Robin Grille, author of Parenting for a Peaceful World, and also Heart to Heart Parenting, shares some profound information about children and parenting practices around the world and throughout history."

A video created by Jacob Devaney for Culture Collective, narrated by Aja Swafford, written by Robin Grille.

Watch it on YouTube (7mins 48secs)

Learn more about Robin Grille's work at www.our-emotional-health.com


The Double Bind

New from Keith Gilbert, author of neuro-linguistic programming: Liberating Parents.

FREE seminar on Double Bind communication

"This FREE seminar on the Double Bind will be the most important thing you will ever learn about human communication.  Even with the best of intentions parents, teachers and other adults can be unaware that they are using Double Bind communication with children and with other significant people in their lives.
 
Come along and learn how to recognise Double Binds and how you can apply NLP processes to correct them.  Correcting Double Bind habits allow us to communicate more effectively, develop high self-esteem, and can be the key to enhancing learning strategies."

Dates: Sunday June 28th, Sunday July 12th

Venue: 29 John Miller St, Ryde, Sydney
 
Times:  11.00am - 1.00 pm.  There will also be an additional hour from 1.00pm - 2.00pm for anyone interested in demonstrations of NLP processes.

For more information please visit www.neurolinguisticparents.com/DoubleBind.htm


Rally for Homebirth

Monday September 7, 2009, Parliament House, Canberra

"Homebirth Australia is hosting a MAJOR rally in Canberra (outside Parliament House) on Monday September 7 from 11.30am.

There has been much discussion about the potential outlawing of homebirth and the continued lack of equity for women choosing homebirth.

We need this to be BIG."

For more information, please contact Justine Caines at homebirth.org.au/ or through Homebirth Australia on Facebook.
 

Connect to your unborn baby (for dads)

New from Hypnosis Downloads.

"Connect to your unborn baby (for Dads) enables all fathers to be able to feel closer to the growing bundle of life that they helped to form. The more emotionally bonded you feel with your child, the more natural it will be to provide all you possible can (in all kinds of ways) for your future baby."

More information here


Attachment Parenting Australia

"The APA website provides information about attachment parenting; attachment parenting support groups within Australia; online discussion groups within Australia and beyond; links to useful websites; a list of useful books, publications and research articles."

attachmentparentingaustralia.com


Pinky McKay

"Imagine feeling relaxed, calm and confident…as you nurture your baby or child, gently and safely, with respect for their needs as you balance your own.

Whether you are planning the birth of your first baby, getting to know your precious newborn, or adapting to the changes as your biddable baby grows into an adventurous toddler, I can help you feel more CONFIDENT and ENJOY being a parent."

www.pinkymckay.com.au


Family Matters

"Happy Parents Raise Happy Kids"

Ronit Baras is somebody who loves to write about parenting - especially parenting from a personal development angle. Her website is a cornucopia of positive ideas.

Visit www.ronitbaras.com


Etendi BRIDGE

"Divorce, chronic business travel, military deployment or kids away at school; these are just some of the reasons why you may find yourself experiencing the difficulty and pain of trying to keep a close relationship with your kids from a distance. It just got easier."

Visit www.etendi.com for more information


The Mother magazine

"Over the past seven years, The Mother magazine has broken new ground in the developing holistic parent market ~ publishing cutting-edge articles written by passionate and experienced contributors, and read in over 40 countries worldwide.

Every aspect of natural parenting is explored, from conscious conception, peaceful pregnancy, gentle childbirth, extended breastfeeding, natural immunity, attachment parenting and the first few years of childhood, through to education, parenting teenagers and parenting one's self."

www.themothermagazine.co.uk


Juno

"Juno is a parenting magazine with an ethos based on conscious parenting, sustainability, social justice, non-violence and a commitment to personal growth and spiritual awareness. Juno is named after and inspired by the Roman goddess of birth, fertility, marriage and female genius."

http://www.junomagazine.com/

Thank you for the above three items to Dagmara Elminowska


Do Schools Kill Creativity?

Sir Ken Robinson's now legendary TED talk on the importance of creativity and how schools undermine it.

"A visionary cultural leader, Sir Ken led the British government's 1998 advisory committee on creative and cultural education, a massive inquiry into the significance of creativity in the educational system and the economy, and was knighted in 2003 for his achievements. His latest book, The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything, a deep look at human creativity and education, was published in January 2009."

Watch the video here (19 mins 24 secs)


Rethinking Education is rethinking EVERYTHING!

"You are invited to attend our 13th annual international conference!

Join hundreds of families from around the globe as we rethink the meanings of education, learning, parenting...and life!

Rethinking Education is rethinking EVERYTHING in 2009!

Our conference supports attachment parenting, unconditional love, support for each person's unique journey of life experience, freedom with responsibility, unschooling and you."

When: Labor Day Weekend, Friday, September 4 - Tuesday, September 8

Where: Marriott Solana Hotel & Spa, Westlake, Texas, USA (1/2 hour west of Dallas)

All the exciting details are at: www.rethinkingeducation.net/

Rethinking Education on Twitter


Free Learning Monitor

"Want to receive a monthly digest of free and low-cost online courses, tutorials, videos, podcasts, games, and blogs?!        

The Free Learning Monitor provides regular monthly updates about free and low cost education opportunities available on the Web and anywhere else..."

A totally awesome newsletter from "digital strategist and e-learning consultant" Jeff Cobb.

Read all about it and subscribe here


Ditch the Backpack: 100 Essential Web Tools for Virtual Students

"While learning at home offers great opportunities for working on your own time and schedule, it can also offer drawbacks when it comes to working with others or getting immediate help on a problem. Whether you need help, collaboration, or just want a little extra knowledge when completing your assignments, these web tools will help you find what you need."

Find out what's on the list here


Sandra Dodd on YouTube Part 3

"Unschooling advocate Sandra talks about learning, pursuing interests and how the universe inside your head is larger than the universe outside."

Watch the video here (6 mins 3 secs)


Dayna Martin on YouTube

Dayna Martin is the author of the newly published book Radical Unschooling: A Revolution Has Begun and keynote speaker at the London Unschooling Conference on 25th July.

Here's her YouTube channel


101 Reasons I'm An Unschooler

A new book by PS Pirro.

"Not a how-to but a WHY-TO, for anyone frustrated with conventional schooling or tired of "school-at-home" homeschooling ..."

More details at Lulu.com


And finally ...

Be curious. Be kind

A short poem and one of the most beautiful baby photos I've ever seen:.

Here it is






Thank you for reading the Parental Intelligence Newsletter!

The next issue of this newsletter will be published on or about 14 July 2009

Subscribe now and stay in touch






Copyright © Bob Collier, except where indicated otherwise

Published by Bob Collier, Canberra, Australia  

Email: bobcollier[at]parental-intelligence[dot]com 






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