The Parental Intelligence Newsletter

May 2009

Hi, this is Bob Collier inviting you to 'explore the psychology of happy and successful parenting', connect with bright minds, discover new ideas and sail outside the mainstream for a while without running aground.

All that and more.

In this month's issue of the Parental Intelligence Newsletter there are links to 16 articles and 29 notices and items of news. As always, I trust you will find in my latest collection of parenting, education and personal development ideas and information from around the internet something that will make a positive difference to your life - and, through you, to the lives of your children.

Please scroll down to pick and choose whatever is of interest and useful to you.

Thank you for being here! I appreciate this opportunity to be of help to you in your parenting adventure and wish you all the happiness and success you would wish yourself.

See you next month!



"Childhood has it's own way of seeing, thinking, and feeling, and nothing is more foolish than to try to substitute ours for theirs."
- Jean-Jacques Rousseau


Conscious Parenting: Parents as Genetic Engineers
by Bruce Lipton, Ph.D.

You all know the expression, "When you were only a twinkle in your parents' eyes." A phrase that conjures up the happiness of loving parents who truly want to conceive a child. It turns out it is also a phrase that sums up the latest genetic research suggesting that parents should cultivate that twinkle in the months before they conceive a child. That growth-promoting awareness and intention can produce a smarter, healthier and happier baby.

Read more ...

When it is not breast
by phdinparenting

Breast is best.

In an ideal world, all infants would be breastfed.

This is not an ideal world. But that doesn't mean that we can pretend that there are not significant risks in formula feeding as compared with breastfeeding. There are. Risks for the baby, risks for the mother. If all other things are equal, breast is unequivocally best.

Unfortunately, all other things are not always equal.

Read more ...

Does Breastfeeding on Demand Spoil Children?
by Mizin Kawasaki, M.D.

Women have been warned for decades that they will spoil their children if they respond too readily to their children's needs: mothers are supposed to approach babies and children with restraint and keep them at a distance. Thus, child-rearing experts admonish parents that babies should not fall asleep at the breast. These experts decry the possibility that a baby may become too dependent upon the breast and his mother.

Standard child-rearing advice suggests instead that a young baby should learn how to comfort himself with an inanimate object such as a blanket, a safe baby toy, a pacifier, or even a mother's tee shirt. Encouraging a baby to become attached to an object in early childhood may result, however, in a lifelong fixation on a specific object. Steven Barrie-Anthony reports that this type of attachment may be exhibited by adults who treasure certain objects, like a childhood pillow.

Read more ...

Inside the baby mind
by Jonah Lehrer, The Boston Globe

What is it like to be a baby? For centuries, this question would have seemed absurd: behind that adorable facade was a mostly empty head. A baby, after all, is missing most of the capabilities that define the human mind, such as language and the ability to reason. Rene Descartes argued that the young child was entirely bound by sensation, hopelessly trapped in the confusing rush of the here and now. A newborn, in this sense, is just a lump of need, a bundle of reflexes that can only eat and cry. To think like a baby is to not think at all.

Read more ...

Raising Bill Gates
by William H. Gates

In the early days of Microsoft's success, when my son's name was starting to become known to the world at large, everybody from reporters at Fortune to the checkout person at the local grocery store would ask me, "How do you raise a kid like that? What's the secret?" At those moments I was generally thinking to myself, "Oh, it's a secret all right ... because I don't get it either!"

Read more ...

Thank you for the above two items to Javed Alam

A Teachable Moment
by Anna Quindlen

Several years ago a psychologist named Laurie Miller Brotman spearheaded a study of young children that yielded stunning results. The kids were from poor and troubled families, the preschool-age siblings of older children who were already acquainted with the criminal-justice system. Brotman's team tested levels of cortisol, a hormone that usually spikes when human beings are under stress. On average, these kids had flattened cortisol in stressful situations; so do many who have been maltreated or have behavior problems.

So far, so bad. But here's what happened to half the children in this study ...

Read more ...

Mothers' talk is key to kids' social skills, study says
by Elizabeth Landau, CNN

Mothers often get blamed for the way their children turn out, and a new study gives additional weight to that accusation.

Research from the United Kingdom shows that the way mothers talk to their children at a young age influences their social skills later in childhood.

Read more ...

Thank you for that item to Sandra Dodd

"Make my kids happy" - that's a 21st century order
by Lisa Amphlett, Renegade Parent

Make my kids happy. Seriously - what have we come to when this is the title of a mainstream, prime time TV programme? Is it now beyond the reaches of parents and children to figure out what makes them happy - hold onto your hats - by themselves?

When it comes to the profound issue of achieving wellbeing, I fail to see why trivialities such as make up, mobile phones, clothes and "bling" are actually the issues upon which professionals and the individuals they are "treating" focus all of their energies.

Read more ...

The Playful Self
Author Unknown

It is a fundamental truth of Field training that the world is as we are, for what we mean by "the world" at any moment is already a construct of our identity. So, for example, and not surprisingly, the man who is secretly at war with the world and others will find himself in a world of enemies, while the man who heads into the day expecting the best from people, who is generous with them in spirit and slow to blame will find the world friendly and accommodating in return. These are obvious examples of a principle that often takes far subtler forms.

Read more ...

Thank you for that item to Marion Badenoch

Learning to Read
by Alan Thomas & Harriet Pattison

It's probably no exaggeration to say that home educators have done more to advance the scientific understanding of the nature of learning than a century of research based in schools. Home educating families do not have to adhere to the conventions and traditions that have grown to surround learning in schools. Instead, they have the freedom and indeed the compulsion to custom design an education that suits them, their children and their lifestyles. Nowhere is this freedom clearer than when it comes to unschooling where the philosophy of the classroom is abandoned as learning ceases to be a separately definable part of life. The result is a form of education in which the theories which support professional education in school are contradicted and questioned at every turn.

Read more ...

Backup Education?
by Marc Prensky

A disturbing voice has emerged in the questions that teachers ask after my talks. Reacting to my discussing the need to delete things from the curriculum in order to make room for topics about the future, teachers almost invariably ask some version of the following: "But what if the technology breaks down? What will our kids do then?"

Read more ...

Future School: Reshaping Learning from the Ground Up
by James Daly, Edutopia

Forty years after he and his wife, Heidi, set the world alight with Future Shock, Alvin Toffler remains a tough assessor of our nation's social and technological prospects. Though he's best known for his work discussing the myriad ramifications of the digital revolution, he also loves to speak about the education system that is shaping the hearts and minds of America's future. We met with him near his office in Los Angeles, where the celebrated septuagenarian remains a clear and radical thinker.

Read more ...

Through Young Eyes
by Michael S. Malone

Technology in all of its forms - social networks, smartphones, the Web, instant messaging, on-line gaming - is a net loss for today's young people. At least according to one group of Silicon Valley 8th graders.

Read more ...

Thank you for the above two items to Dagmara Elminowska

Universities will be 'irrelevant' by 2020 Y. professor says
by Elaine Jarvik, Deseret News

Last fall, David Wiley stood in front of a room full of professors and university administrators and delivered a prediction that made them squirm: "Your institutions will be irrelevant by 2020."

Wiley is one part Nostradamus and nine parts revolutionary, an educational evangelist who preaches about a world where students listen to lectures on iPods, and those lectures are also available online to everyone anywhere for free. Course materials are shared between universities, science labs are virtual, and digital textbooks are free.

Read more ...

Students as 'Free Agent Learners'
by Dave Nagel, T.H.E. Journal

There's a significant disconnect between students and educators when it comes to perceptions of technology in K-12 education, according to Julie Evans, CEO of Project Tomorrow. Evans discussed results of the latest Speak Up Survey Thursday afternoon at the FETC Virtual Conference & Expo. Among the findings: There's a trend toward students using technology to take hold of their own educational destinies and act as "free agent learners."

Read more ...

From School to Homeschool to Unschool
by Rain Fordyce

The choice to homeschool came at the beginning of my transformation to reclaim my authentic life. I was tired of doing the "right" thing. I was exhausted trying to speed my pace up to fit the world of deadlines and school bells. The fact was, I was a bit of an odd ball in the world of school. I didn't understand the other moms when they talked about brands of clothes their kids were wearing or when they discussed their worry of getting their kids into the elementary-college prep acronym clubs. I didn't like the ongoing classroom gossip (which student was the problem or who was the genius) and the unnerving feeling I got that these women were comparing the odds, against my child and the others, whether their child would have a chance to be the valedictorian in 10 + years.

Read more ...




"Does your child have ADHD or regularly display behaviours typical of ADHD? If so, then you are invited to participate in a 30 minute online survey regarding parents' understanding of ADHD-type behaviours. Whether you believe ADHD is a medical condition or not, as a parent or guardian, you are considered the expert for your child and so your views will be highly regarded. To complete the survey go to Your assistance in this important research is much appreciated."


Neuro-Linguistic Programming: Liberating Parents

A new and different parenting book from Australian NLP Consultant and Life Coach Keith Gilbert.

"... this is what Liberating Parents is all about.  It is training for parents so that you can learn the essential processes for creating, maintaining and enjoying mental and emotional health and wellbeing. And when you have these skills and use them on a daily basis then you become a model for your children of a balanced, creative and free individual… which is exactly what you want for your children!"

My favourite parenting book ever.

Visit Keith Gilbert's Neuro Linguistic Parents website for more information

Join the Liberating Parents group at Facebook

How I Parent

A short and hopefully useful instantly downloadable ebook about how I've parented my own children.

Read more about that here 

Guiding Stars of the New Parenting Movement

Be sure to download your FREE copy of my Guiding Stars of the New Parenting Movement ebooks while you're here if you haven't done so already.

There are two volumes so far. These ebooks are FREE with my compliments and are packed with valuable insights and useful ideas to help you in your parenting adventure.

Volume 1 - an introduction to the work of Michael Mendizza, Robin Grille, Laura Ramirez, Jan Hunt, Pam Leo, Pat and Larry Downing, Alfie Kohn, Marc Prensky, Kali Wendorf and Jan Fortune-Wood:

Download it from here  

Volume 2 - an introduction to the work of Aletha Solter, Kim Wildner, Naomi Aldort, John Travis and Meryn Callander, John Breeding, Scott Noelle, Beverley Paine and Alan Wilson

Download it from here

Kindred Magazine

"Kindred magazine is created to support and give voice to the embryonic but powerfully essential movement towards conscious parenting and conscious living happening all around the world. It is in honour of that revolutionary movement everywhere, be it large or small, public or personal, that Kindred addresses issues ahead of mainstream media. It brings cutting edge research and information from pioneers in all fields relating to the well being of our human family and the world we live in.

Courageously exploring social, political, spiritual, global and environmental issues, it is the first and only such magazine in Australia and one of only a few in the world."

For more information about the latest issue and to subscribe please visit the Kindred Magazine website 

Subscribe to Kindred Magazine's between issues newsletter Kindred Spirit

Kindred Magazine on Facebook

Kindred Magazine on Twitter

Natural Child News

The Natural Child Project's free monthly newsletter.

Subscribe to Natural Child News here   

A personal message from The Natural Child Project founder Jan Hunt

Connection Parenting

A standout book by parent educator Pam Leo recommended by the Alliance for Transforming the Lives of Children.   

"Connection parenting is parenting through connection instead of coercion, through love instead of fear."

Get all the details at

Parenting For A Peaceful World
"Robin Grille, author of Parenting for a Peaceful World, and also Heart to Heart Parenting, shares some profound information about children and parenting practices around the world and throughout history."

A video created by Jacob Devaney for Culture Collective, narrated by Aja Swafford, written by Robin Grille.

Watch it on YouTube (7mins 48secs)

Learn more about Robin Grille's work at

50 Best Parenting Books for Families with Teens and Tweens

Woo hoo! neuro-linguistic programming: Liberating Parents by Keith Gilbert is on Radical Parenting's list of 50 Best Parenting Books for Families with Teens and Tweens selected from "thousands of submissions".

About three quarters of the way down this page

NLP: A Birth Model for Change

"The current model of birth is as deep a belief structure as the structure of our very nature. Trusting your body, trusting your mind and trusting your baby are entirely new concepts in the birthing world today. Making changes at this very core level takes skill and dedication.

In this two-part workshop series, Kathy Welter-Nichols introduces participants to a number of new technologies and science models that support gentle birthing practices, and explains why fear is so deeply enhanced through suggestion during birth."

Visit the Conscious Woman website for all the details

Innate Wholeness

The website of Amy Christine Bush and "Innate Parenting".

"Parenting is not only a role with a host of responsibilities, concerns, and joys, it is an invitation to be called forward to your true self. Through this invitation you are engaged in a present day experience with your child that allows you to liberate yourself from the past along with any and all ideas, thoughts, feelings, words, and actions that do not suit you and what you want for your life."

Visit the Innate Wholeness website to find out more

Raising Small Souls

"Timeless Parenting Advice... for Tots through Teens!"

And home to the Animal School movie!

Parenting Beyond Belief: On Raising Ethical, Caring Kids Without Religion

A book by Dale McGowan.

"Parenting Beyond Belief is a book for loving and thoughtful parents who wish to raise their children without religion. There are scores of books available for religious parents. Now there's one for the rest of us."

Mind, Growth & Matter

A commentary by Bruce Lipton, Ph.D., author of The Biology of Belief, on the "mind/body connection".

Energetic Connection

New from Alan Wilson of Develop Your Child.

"We have coined the phrase 'energetic connection' as a generic term for what some people call intuition, also referred to as sensing, knowing, gut feeling, instincts, 6th sense, telepathy.  For example when you enter a room full of strangers you can feel comfortable or uncomfortable or sense if someone is behind you. Your children can sense the mood you're in before you enter a room.

It is this 'energy' that has a huge impact on the quality of a communication between two people."

Visit for all that it has to offer

Project No Spank

The website of Parents and Teachers Against Violence in Education, Inc (PTAVE).

"A resource for parents, students, educators, education policymakers, healthcare providers, children's advocates, and all others who are concerned with the safety and wellbeing of children."

The Hitting Stops Here

"A campaign for teaching kindness and respect in schools everywhere".

The website and work of Paula Flowe.

International, regional and national campaigns for law reform to prohibit all corporal punishment of children

Around the world there are campaigns for law reform to prohibit all corporal punishment of children in all settings. The context for many is the UN Study on Violence against Children, which recommended universal prohibition of corporal punishment by the year 2009. This page describes international, regional and national campaigns, with links where available. We welcome further information about these and other campaigns: please email"

Read more here

New Facebook Group

Aware Parenting, Nonviolent Communication and Natural Learning

"A group for parents who are aiming to practice Aware Parenting (, NVC ( and Natural Learning."

If you're on Facebook, please visit the group here

Wisdom from a 14 year old

A great little video courtesy of Teen Coach and Gen Y Guide Sarah Newton about every child's right to an education. Or how confident a 14 year old can be as a public speaker.

Watch the video here (4 mins 44 secs)

The New Global Student

Maya Frost's book The New Global Student is in bookstores across America from May 19th.

"Skip the SAT, Save Thousands on Tuition, and Get a Truly International Education"

Top 10 reasons to read this book (and why Maya wrote it)

Read the first chapter here

Rethinking Education is rethinking EVERYTHING!

"You are invited to attend our 13th annual international conference!

Join hundreds of families from around the globe as we rethink the meanings of education, learning, parenting...and life!

Rethinking Education is rethinking EVERYTHING in 2009!

Our conference supports attachment parenting, unconditional love, support for each person's unique journey of life experience, freedom with responsibility, unschooling and you."

When: Labor Day Weekend, Friday, September 4 - Tuesday, September 8

Where: Marriott Solana Hotel & Spa, Westlake, Texas, USA (1/2 hour west of Dallas)

All the exciting details are at:

Rethinking Education on Twitter

Barb Lundgren

Barb Lundgren is the founder and producer of the Rethinking Education international conference.

Find out more about Barb and her family here

Sandra Dodd on You Tube

A two part interview with homeschooling legend Sandra Dodd.

Part 1: The Path to Unschooling (9 mins 32 secs)
Part 2: Unschooling & Real Learning (6 mins 31 secs)

Dayna Martin

Dayna Martin, keynote speaker at the upcoming London Unschooling Conference, interviewed by Rosie Speno of Education Otherwise.

Visit the London Unschooling Conference website to read the interview

Dayna has a book about to be published called Radical Unschooling - A Revolution Has Begun. You can read more about that at her blog:

Play Is Learning

"In this conversation Joseph Chilton Pearce turns the entire developmental process, schooling and athletic training head over heels by distinguishing between  learning and conditioning.

Understanding what he is describing will change your views of parenting, education and athletics - forever."

Watch a preview video here (5 mins 2 secs)

How Your TV Can Help Your Whole Family Lose Weight

A Kim & Jason Interview from Escape Adulthood. This one with Mickey DeLorezo on losing weight with his Nintendo Wii.

Listen to the interview here

Difference Between Disease and Disorder

"This video shows the difference between a physical disease and a psychiatric mental "disorder"."

Watch the video here (1 min 54 secs)

Thank you for that item to Anthony Dillon

And finally ...

Brain Apples

Long time readers of the Parental Intelligence Newsletter might remember Doug Bench. Years ago, every issue of my then weekly ezine included a fascinating and informative snippet from his no longer published Science For Success newsletter.

Since then, Doug has obviously been very busy elsewhere and now he's back with - The Brain Apples Blueprint!

"Using Revolutionary Neuroscience Discoveries to Teach You the Science of Permanent Self-Motivation and Advanced Achievement"

Take a closer look at

Thank you for reading the Parental Intelligence Newsletter!

The next issue of this newsletter will be published on or about 14 June 2009

Subscribe now and stay in touch

Copyright © Bob Collier, except where indicated otherwise

Published by Bob Collier, Canberra, Australia  

Email: bobcollier[at]parental-intelligence[dot]com 

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