The Parental Intelligence Newsletter

March 2009

Hi, this is Bob Collier inviting you to 'explore the psychology of happy and successful parenting', connect with bright minds, discover new ideas and sail outside the mainstream for a while without running aground.

All that and more.

In this month's issue of the Parental Intelligence Newsletter there are links to 12 articles and 20 notices and items of news. As always, I trust you will find in my latest collection of parenting, education and personal development ideas and information from around the internet something that will make a positive difference to your life - and, through you, to the lives of your children.

Please scroll down to pick and choose whatever is of interest and useful to you.

Thank you for being here! I appreciate this opportunity to be of help to you in your parenting adventure and wish you all the happiness and success you would wish yourself.

See you next month!



Neuro-Linguistic Programming: Liberating Parents

A new and different parenting book from Australian NLP Consultant and Life Coach Keith Gilbert.

"... this is what Liberating Parents is all about.  It is training for parents so that you can learn the essential processes for creating, maintaining and enjoying mental and emotional health and wellbeing. And when you have these skills and use them on a daily basis then you become a model for your children of a balanced, creative and free individual… which is exactly what you want for your children!"

My favourite parenting book ever

Invest in a copy of Liberating Parents at 
Visit Keith Gilbert's Neuro Linguistic Parents website for more information

Join the Liberating Parents group at Facebook


The Technology of Choice

The Technology of Choice is a workshop run as an introduction to "Neuro-Linguistic Programming", or "NLP", by NLP Consultant Keith Gilbert in Sydney, Australia.

Keith is the author of the book neuro-linguistic programming: Liberating Parents. My favourite parenting book ever. I attended his The Technology of Choice workshop over the weekend of February 21-22, 2009.

Please go to this page to read my specially written report


Funny little thing called Choice
by Keith Gilbert (Grad.Cert.NLP)

In the therapeutic context the NLP consultant's task is to assist the client in reconnecting to unconscious aspects of themselves that are disassociated. Typically people who seek assistance for emotional and behavioural problems have done what they can with the conscious aspect of their minds and have exhausted the resources available there. Problems that people experience are generated by the unconscious aspect of their mind... all the conscious mind does is recognise the problem. And we know that they are generated unconsciously as conscious interventions, conscious attempts to correct the problems, can often be short lived with the client reverting back to the old behaviour.

Here NLP offers something truly extraordinary. Sure, we can assist teenagers and adults in finding their own solutions to the problems that they would like to have more choice about… and yet, if we think NLP we can ask the question, "What would be required for a baby to grow up with the very skills that an NLP consultant uses such that that child would never develop disassociations from the unconscious aspect of her mind IN THE FIRST PLACE?" Is that not the best question you have ever read?

The answer to the question is as exciting as it is confronting.

In much of what I have written and presented I have said, "We can only give what we have." If we are disassociated from aspects of our own unconscious minds then we will relate to and influence others, including children, with those disassociations. Until we correct the disassociations within our own minds we will encourage our children, and indeed all children with whom we come in contact, to develop the same strange and incongruent ideas that govern our lives and in some cases the same mental and emotional problems that we have.

You were not born with the beliefs you now hold. You learned them over time. NLP can be used to explore these beliefs, find out what they do for you, and if they are limiting you can learn new ways to achieve what is most important to you so that you are no longer constrained by those limitations.

Think about that. When you do that for yourself then you model both the new freedom of thought and the method to achieve to it... for your children. Could there be a greater gift you can give to a child? No, I don't think so either.

Beliefs... beliefs. You were not born with them. You learned them over time. And beliefs, ALL BELIEFS, are disassociating, that is they disconnect you from your ability to create your own purposes. Now remember, NLP can be used to - assist the client in reconnecting to unconscious aspects of themselves that are disassociated - which, when you think about it, means that NLP can be used to understand beliefs and so free ourselves from these strange limitations. This, then, makes NLP unique in that it is the only technology available today that can help you achieve that freedom of thought. And that really is extraordinary.

This, then, is of great interest to you as a parent because you realise that this is the key to learning how to relate to children in ways that respect and encourage their freedom of thought. And if you are not a parent it is of great interest to you because you realise that this is the key to learning how to relate to those people in your life in ways that respect and encourage their freedom of thought.

Copyright © 2009, Keith Gilbert (Grad.Cert.NLP)


Steps to an Ecology of Parenting
by Keith Gilbert

My wife and I were going to bring a child into our lives. And I knew, intuitively, that unless I did something about certain limiting beliefs that I had...

...then my influence would be such that our child would have less than intelligent, artistic, ecological behaviours to emulate. I would be influencing my child to limit the range of alternatives and possible behaviours from which she could choose to have and create the experiences that she wanted.  

Read more ...

Birthing at Home - a powerful and important social contribution
by Kali Wendorf

In 2001, actress Ricki Lake gave birth to her second child in her home-in her bathtub to be precise-with the assistance of a midwife. She decided to birth at home after she experienced unwanted medical interventions while delivering her first child at a hospital birthing unit. This time she wanted birth on her own terms. Her experience became a documentary film, The Business of Being Born-a raw, potent testimony to the power of women's bodies, and the power the medical system has over them.

Read more ...

Banished! Are parents who follow their hearts left out in the cold?
by Robin Grille

A recurring theme has come to my attention through my work as a psychotherapist as well as through social contact  with other parents. There is a disturbing phenomenon relating to what happens to many mums and dads who choose more  'natural', child-centered approaches to parenting. When parents are criticized for neglecting their children -  though criticism is a poor teacher - one is at least not surprised. But when parents are denounced, dissuaded or  even shamed for choosing to be more nurturing, this seems astonishing. It appears that, frequently, those who try  'natural' parenting risk finding themselves alone, judged or marginalized.

Read more ...

The Power of a Smile
by Sue Gerhardt

As the world comes into focus, vision plays an increasingly important part in relationships. Eye contact now  becomes the main source of information about other people's feelings and intentions: feelings are seen on the face.  This reliance on faces may have evolved on the African savannah where it was necessary for our primate ancestors to  communicate silently so as not to alert predators. This was done through visual means, developing a wide repertoire  of facial movements and body language to convey information (Turner 2000). Certainly attentiveness to faces is  hard-wired into human beings and is evident even in newborns.

Read more ...

A Teacher Questions Compulsory Schooling
by Jim Strickland

You can barely open a newspaper these days without being inundated with cries for various reforms and innovations  aimed at curing what ails our public education system. There are obviously many passionately committed souls out  there who care deeply about children and who are willing to do whatever it takes to provide the nurture and support  they need to grow up into good human beings and lifelong learners.

But what is it that actually "ails" public education, and what is it that children really need from us? In all the  discussions about vouchers, charter schools and higher standards, I never hear anything about what I have come to  believe is the one proposal that would do the most to improve the quality, integrity, effectiveness and democratic  character of our current system.

Read more ...

Creativity is Dead, Ken. . .
by Bill Ferriter

Last February, I stumbled across a TED talk by Sir Ken Robinson titled Do Schools Kill Creativity that left me completely energized.  In it, Robinson lays  out a case for why creativity should be reintroduced to our classrooms that echoed themes being shared by writers like Daniel Pink, who argue that the most  effective workers in tomorrow's world will be those who can innovate and find connections between and across disparate fields.

Knowing that my own practice did little to encourage creativity, I was challenged----and I spent the better part of the last 8 months trying to find ways to  allow my students to spend more time creating and innovating.

My efforts have been a complete failure, though. 

Read more ...

Looking Forward at Learning
by Will Richardson

From the "Making the Compelling Case Dept." comes this article from the new International Journal of Learning and Media titled Learning: Peering Backward and Looking Forward in the Digital Era. Written by Howard Gardner, Carrie James and Margaret Weigel, all from the Harvard Graduate School of Education, for me at least it's one of those must reads that helps put in perspective the many changes that learning is going through right now and helps affirm a vision of learning that may come to pass.

Read more ...

'iTunes university' better than the real thing
by Ewen Callaway, New Scientist

Students have been handed another excuse to skip class from an unusual quarter. New psychological research suggests that university students who download a  podcast lecture achieve substantially higher exam results than those who attend the lecture in person.

Read more ...

Is The TV Making Me Stupid?
by Adam Eason

It is a good question… This week I got asked a particular question to do with the fact that I often refer to TV watching throughout my work… You may have guessed that I love TV… I really do… At the moment, I am utterly engrossed with Lost, 24, Fringe and laugh out loud at the TV, get emotional and so much more… I wanted to share with you what I think about this idea that some people say about TV making people stupid or limiting us in some way…

Read more ...

The Serious Need for Play
by Melinda Wenner, Scientific American

On August 1, 1966, the day psychiatrist Stuart Brown started his assistant professorship at the Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, 25-year-old Charles Whitman climbed to the top of the University of Texas Tower on the Austin campus and shot 46 people. Whitman, an engineering student and a former U.S. Marine sharpshooter, was the last person anyone expected to go on a killing spree. After Brown was assigned as the state's consulting psychiatrist to investigate the incident and later, when he interviewed 26 convicted Texas murderers for a small pilot study, he discovered that most of the killers, including Whitman, shared two things in common: they were from abusive families, and they never played as kids.

Read more ...

The Hazards of Treating "Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder" with Methylphenidate (Ritalin)
by Peter R. Breggin, M.D. and Ginger Ross Breggin
ABSTRACT. The criteria for Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder focus on behaviors that adults find frustrating and disruptive. Conflicts between children and adults are redefined as diseases or disorders within the children. Treatment with stimulant drugs such as methylphenidate (Ritalin) will produce greater docility in any child (or animal) without actually improving conduct or academic performance. Parents are not informed that they are trading  behavioral control for toxic drug effects. The label ADHD is attached to children who are in reality deprived of appropriate adult attention. These children require improved adult attention to their basic needs.

Read more ...


How I Parent

A short and hopefully useful instantly downloadable ebook about how I've parented my own children.

Read more about that here 

Guiding Stars of the New Parenting Movement

Be sure to download your FREE copy of my Guiding Stars of the New Parenting Movement ebooks while you're here if you haven't done so already.

There are two volumes so far. These ebooks are FREE with my compliments and are packed with valuable insights and useful ideas to help you in your parenting adventure.

Volume 1 - an introduction to the work of Michael Mendizza, Robin Grille, Laura Ramirez, Jan Hunt, Pam Leo, Pat and Larry Downing, Alfie Kohn, Marc Prensky, Kali Wendorf and Jan Fortune-Wood:

Download it from here  

Volume 2 - an introduction to the work of Aletha Solter, Kim Wildner, Naomi Aldort, John Travis and Meryn Callander, John Breeding, Scott Noelle, Beverley Paine and Alan Wilson

Download it from here

Kindred Magazine

"Kindred magazine is created to support and give voice to the embryonic but powerfully essential movement towards conscious parenting and conscious living happening all around the world. It is in honour of that revolutionary movement everywhere, be it large or small, public or personal, that Kindred addresses issues ahead of mainstream media. It brings cutting edge research and information from pioneers in all fields relating to the well being of our human family and the world we live in.

Courageously exploring social, political, spiritual, global and environmental issues, it is the first and only such magazine in Australia and one of only a few in the world."

For more information about the latest issue and to subscribe please visit the Kindred Magazine website 

Subscribe to Kindred Magazine's between issues newsletter Kindred Spirit

Kindred Magazine on Facebook

Natural Child News

The Natural Child Project's free monthly newsletter.

Subscribe to Natural Child News here   

A personal message from The Natural Child Project founder Jan Hunt

Connection Parenting

A standout book by parent educator Pam Leo recommended by the Alliance for Transforming the Lives of Children.   

"Connection parenting is parenting through connection instead of coercion, through love instead of fear."

Get all the details at

Heart To Heart Parenting

A new book from Robin Grille, author of Parenting For A Peaceful World.

"An empowering book for parents, Heart to Heart Parenting is more than just a 'how to' book about raising happy and resilient children - it aims to help you create a deep and lasting relationship that is unique to you and your child. Using techniques that are based on connection rather than shaming, manipulation or punishment, Robin Grille introduces you to insightful and practical ways to benefit your child's emotional wellbeing and development."

Find out more here


The latest book from Keith Gilbert, author of neuro-linguistic programming: Liberating Parents.

"NLP is the breakthrough technology that allows us to explore how we know what we think we know and how we form habits of thought and behaviour. With NLP you can free yourself from habitual ways of thinking and behaving that have limited your freedom of choice. NLP is also the key to developing Emotional Intelligence. This book is a guide. It will show you the origins of low self-esteem so that you can observe the ways you relate to yourself and others to determine whether you have been inadvertently encouraging low self-esteem. Then it will show you how, through your own high self-esteem, you can encourage others to develop high self-esteem."

Buy the book here

Experience the Completely New Touch the Future Web Site
The Touch The Future website has had a makeover! Take a look.

"Our goal is to balance the human development equation by reframing and supporting continuing Parent-Child Development, not just child development."


Interview with Scott Noelle

An interview with Scott Noelle of Enjoy Parenting and The Daily Groove by Mary Nix of Home Education Magazine.

Read the transcript at the Enjoy Parenting website

Britain's Next Top Coach

"Held against the backdrop of the 2012 Olympic games, Britain's Next Top Coach is an exciting new internet based competition designed to discover the most inspirational and talented individuals emerging from within the UK self-help & personal development industry and connect them to a public searching for ways to improve their lives."

Here's a familiar face - Alan Wilson of Develop Your Child :

Britain's Next Top Coach was founded by Terry Malloy and Ian Banyard.

Fathers-To-Be Handbook

A Road Map for the Transition to Fatherhood by Patrick M. Houser.

Read a review of the book here

NEW Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering

Just published - a second edition of Gentle Birth Gentle Mothering by Sarah J Buckley, MD.

"A Doctor's Guide to Natural Childbirth and Early Parenting Choices"

"Working with US publisher Celestial Arts, Sarah has completely rewritten the original, first-edition, Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering, published in Australia in 2005.

In the NEW Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering, Sarah has updated all the medical evidence for 2009 and added important new chapters..."

More information about that at Sarah's website

Baby Reference

"The greatest discovery is that the science supports natural, instinctual parenting over all else."

The website of Dr. Linda Palmer, author of the acclaimed Baby Matters.

Radical Parenting

Vanessa Van Petten's On Teens Today "renamed, rebranded and relaunched!" as "a kid's perspective on parenting".

"You might be wondering why a 23 year-old and a bunch of teenagers care about parenting, as this blog is written by Vanessa Van Petten and 15 other teen writers.  You can read Vanessa's Story, but all of us have decided to help other families because of the experiences we have had with our own.  All of our mentors and teen writers have a passion for inspiring and enlightening other parents and kids."

Watch the introductory video at this url:

New Facebook Groups

Raising Successful Kids

"This group has been designed to share ideas and provide resources in the development of children and their education.

As parents, we all want our kids to be successful. We want our kids to achieve their maximum potential - in terms of their careers, their earning potential and their personal lives. But the big question is - how can we ensure that success?"

On Facebook? Visit the Raising Successful Kids group here

Alternative Education Resource Organization

"The Alternative Education Resource Organization (AERO) was founded in 1989 by Jerry Mintz. AERO is a branch of the School of Living, a non-profit organization founded in 1934 by Ralph Borsodi. AERO's goal is to advance student-driven, learner-centered approaches to education. AERO is considered by many to be the primary hub of communications and support for educational alternatives around the world."

Visit the Alternative Education Resource Organization group here

The New Global Student

A new book from Maya Frost for the modern world.

"Looking for ways to help your student get a great global education that doesn't cost a fortune? The New Global Student will help you select the strategic (and affordable) education options that lead to the most thrilling and fulfilling opportunities in the 21st-century global economy."

Read all about the book at

Rethinking Education

"2009 marks Rethinking Education's 13th year of producing an international conference for families and others who unschool their children and teens, those wishing to do so, and those simply in search of fresh ideas on education and parenting."

Now sponsored by Touch The Future.

"It's a whole new year for Rethinking Education, and what a glorious & optimistic one it is.  We are officially rethinking everything & have very big plans  for you ... check out our brand new website & details on the revolutionary program we are planning."

Get all the exciting details here

The London Unschooling Conference

The UK's first ever unschooling conference.

"Where - The Music Room, just off Oxford Street.

When - 25th July 2009 (9 am to 6 pm with keynote @ 10:15)

Why - Because unschooling needs a voice and a forum in the UK."

Visit for more information

Good Vibrations Unschooling Conference

A four day conference September 10-13, 2009,  in San Diego, sunny California,

Get the details here

And finally ...

Every Brain Is Wired Differently

"What YOU do and learn in life physically changes what your brain looks like - it literally rewires it. We used to think there were just 7 categories of  intelligence. But categories of intelligence may number more than 7 billion - roughly the population of the world." - Developmental molecular biologist Dr. John Medina, Brain Rules, Rule #3: Every brain is wired differently.

Thank you for reading the Parental Intelligence Newsletter!

The next issue of this newsletter will be published on or about 14 April 2009

Subscribe now and stay in touch

Copyright © Bob Collier, except where indicated otherwise

Published by Bob Collier, Canberra, Australia  

Email: bobcollier[at]parental-intelligence[dot]com 

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