The Parental Intelligence Newsletter
Hi, this is Bob Collier inviting you to 'explore the psychology of happy and successful parenting', connect with bright minds, discover new ideas and sail outside the mainstream for a while without running aground.
All that and more.
In this month's issue of the Parental Intelligence Newsletter there are links to 16 articles and 22 notices and items of news. As always, I trust you will find in my latest collection of parenting, education and personal development ideas and information from around the internet something that will make a positive difference to your life - and, through you, to the lives of your children.
Please scroll down to pick and choose whatever is of interest and useful to you.
Thank you for being here! I appreciate this opportunity to be of help to you in your parenting adventure and wish you all the happiness and success you would wish yourself.
See you next month!
Guiding Stars of the New Parenting Movement
A 2-CD Hypnosis Program from Wendi Friesen
Are you a parent struggling to deal with anger and frustration?
Here's something you'll find is a huge improvement on shouting at your kids and getting stressed out into the bargain.
Clinical hypnotherapist Wendi Friesen's Positive Parenting program will teach you how to relax your mind and body and generate new responses to the situations that 'wind you up', as you develop your patience, understanding and compassion and become the wonderful example to your child or children you'd love to be. Doesn't that sound like a much better idea?
There are two CDs in the program. The first is aimed specifically at creating positive changes in your relationship with your child or children and consequently in their behaviour; the second CD is more general in its possible applications. Underlying the program is the proposition that, in order to change others and our lives generally, we must first change ourselves. That's certainly been my experience.
One caveat about hypnosis audios. In order to get the maximum benefit from them, you must have supportive circumstances. By that I mean, you'll need to create the time and space to listen to them routinely and habitually and it helps if you're not surrounded by people who think hypnosis is a bit 'woo woo'. I can assure you, it's not. So, as I say, make the effort to do this right and magnificent outcomes are surely yours!
Very briefly, this is what's in the Positive Parenting program (and I'll tell you how much time you'll need to set aside for each part).
CD1 Track 1
This is the core hypnosis session and takes up almost all of the first CD. You'll need about half an hour for this. Essentially, this is work you'll be doing on your self-image (although Wendi Friesen doesn't use that precise term) and on becoming the kind of role model for your children you'd prefer to be. Very nice music. It's like the peace and quiet of being in an empty church.
CD1 Track 2
Hypnotize Your Kids
Five minutes at the end of the CD in which Wendi talks about 'mirror neurons', the brain cells responsible for our natural urge to imitate our experiences, and why we need to be very aware of the messages our children are receiving from the 'outside world' - including the messages from our behaviour. You can listen to this while you do other things.
CD2 Track 1
Great for first thing in the morning. This hypnosis session is an exercise in creating your day as you would like it to be. Stimulates your imagination and gets you thinking purposefully about what you want to achieve. About 15 minutes.
CD2 Track 2
No More Anger
Scout's honour, I can't recall the last time I felt angry about the behaviour of either of my two children. It truly has been a rarity in my parenting experience.
This hypnosis session is about dealing with anger and frustration generally, so it's useful for all those situations when you feel thwarted and put upon, not just the ones involving human beings of a juvenile persuasion. Allow Wendi's calm and soothing voice to lead you into a new reality where you know how to express your feelings and have your desires fulfilled. About 15 minutes.
One recommendation here. All the hypnosis sessions on these CDs will be enhanced by listening to them through earphones (and it keeps them private, if that's an issue). This particular session is a double induction - two separate dialogues worded to say similar things in different ways so that they overlap each other. Not exactly a babble, but hard to follow. I think the idea is to make it so tough for your conscious mind to monitor the input it gives up and allows it directly into your subsconscious mind. But don't quote me on that. Ask Wendi.
Anyway, when you listen to this particular hypnosis session through earphones, you have one dialogue in your right ear, the other dialogue in your left ear. And they swirl around inside your head. Way cool, as my son would say. All the other sessions work well enough coming out through the speakers, although earphones are better - this one, definitely use earphones.
CD2 Track 3
Anger Into Power
Another hypnosis session useful in the world at large. This is scenario-based. You go through an event or experience as you're used to it being or believe it will be, then you go through it again as you'd prefer it to be. How to take your anger and turn it into focus, power and clarity of thought and have people taking you very seriously indeed. Again, this takes about 15 minutes.
So, there you go. Better parenting through the power of hypnosis!
To order Wendi Friesen's Positive Parenting program, please visit this page at her website:
To find out more about Wendi Friesen go to:
"Learning Disorder"? Just Say No!
by Jan Hunt
My heart goes out to those children who have been labeled "ADHD" ("attention-deficit and hyperactivity disorder"), the latest "learning disability" label. Many educators and researchers now believe that these children and their families have been profoundly deceived by the use of these labels. Dr. Thomas Armstrong, a former learning disabilities specialist, changed professions when he "began to see how this notion of learning disabilities was handicapping all of our children by placing the blame for a child's learning failure on mysterious neurological deficiencies in the brain instead of on much needed reforms in our system of education."
Read more ...
The Conflict of Interest Between Biological and Cultural Imperatives
by Joseph Chilton Pearce
You cannot do to a living organism what we are now doing to the vast majority of human infants, (and the ongoing spillover into the general abandonment and neglect of children taking place world-wide,) without paying a dreadful price. The ruinous and hugely expensive take-over of all birthing by hospital-medical procedures has brought into play an equally huge and expensive cradle-to-grave therapeutic operation, undertaken in our efforts to repair the damage we are blindly causing at the same time.
Hospital-medical childbirth, now made sacrosanct and unquestioned on every hand, is a more insidious and devious danger than atomic bombs or germ warfare, since unrecognized and even unrecognizable by the public at large for the demonic force it is.
Read more ...
Tens of Thousands Protest Facebook Ban of Breastfeeding Photos
by Mike Adams
A photo of a baby breastfeeding is obscene, says Facebook, and it has banned all breastfeeding photos on its social networking website. Photos of babies drinking melamine-contaminated infant formula out of Bisphenol-A plastic baby bottles, however, are perfectly acceptable.
Intelligent women aren't happy about this, and they've staged a massive online protest starting with a Facebook group: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2517126532
Read more ...
The Case Against Time-out
by Peter Ernest Haiman, Ph.D.
For generations, parents have sought a reliable and dependable way to handle childhood misbehavior. The most recent and popular discipline technique is time-out. Although time-out is better than spanking, it is not an appropriate way for parents to cope with the misbehavior of their children. Moreover, the use of time-out can create subsequent childhood behavior problems. These problems can affect the well-being of the child and severely strain the parent-child relationship.
Read more ...
The Heart of Parenting: Nonviolent Communication in Action
by Marion Badenoch Rose Ph.D.
Whenever we try to make our children behave in a certain way through demanding or coercing, we evoke resistance because humans have a universal need for autonomy. Their resistance comes as submission (leading to resentment and deadening) and rebellion (leading to anger).
Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of Nonviolent Communication, says of his kids, "And here were these young children teaching me this humbling lesson, that I couldn't make them do anything. All I could do is make them wish they had .. [and] anytime I would make them wish they had, they would make me wish I hadn't made them wish they had. Violence begets violence."
Read more ...
Children and Eating
An interview with nutritionist/author Ellyn Satter, R.D., M.S.W.
by Joan Price
Nutrition expert Ellyn Satter's philosophy of child feeding is as simple as it is radical: "The parent is responsible for what, when and where. The child is responsible for how much and whether." That's it? Yes. Does it work? Yes, insists Satter. She suggests that following this division of responsibility can solve most children's eating problems-and help us understand our own.
Read more ...
E-books Catch On with Children
by Alana Semuels, Los Angeles Times
After he's finished his homework and his chores for the day, 8-year-old Skye Vaughn-Perling likes to read Dr. Seuss. He's a particular fan of the hijinks that ensue when the elephant Horton hears strange voices emanating from a dust speck in "Horton Hears a Who."
He doesn't read from a dog-eared copy of the children's classic, though. Skye, who lives in Agoura Hills, often reads on his computer, pressing the arrow button when he wants to turn a page. Sometimes the characters move around on the screen like animated cartoons on TV. If he wants, Skye can have the computer read a book to him while he's curled up in bed.
"It's a whole new level of exploring the books," said his mother, Victoria Vaughn-Perling.
Read more ...
Primary school children 'should be taught technology, not tradition'
by Alexandra Frean, Times Online
Computer skills should be given the same importance as reading, writing and arithmetic, and children should be taught to use podcasts and PowerPoint presentations in primary school, a curriculum review will say today.
The long-awaited report by Sir Jim Rose, a former schools inspector and senior government education adviser, will suggest that children are so computer literate at such a young age that ICT skills usually taught in secondary schools should begin in primaries.
Read more ...
No school like home
by Jessica Shepherd, The Guardian
Ian Fisher, like three-quarters of a millon other 16-year-olds, is waiting to get his GCSE results in two days' time. But, education-wise, that is where the similarity between him and the vast majority of his peers ends, because Ian has never set foot in a school.
In a lifetime of home education, the only formal lessons he has experienced were evening classes at his local college in Reading to help him prepare for the English and physics GCSEs he sat this summer. He studied for a maths GCSE last year and was awarded an A.
Read more ...
Meet My Teachers: Mom And Dad
from Business week
Slater Aldrich doesn't attend any of the top-shelf public or private schools near his family's Madison (Conn.) home, not even his mother's alma mater, the $18,000-a-year Country School. Instead, the 11-year-old spends his days playing the role of town zoning officer, researching the pros and cons of granting approval to a new Wal-Mart. Other endeavors include pretending he's a Sand Hill Road venture capitalist, creating Excel-studded business plans for a backyard sheep company, and growing his own organic food. "It's kind of like living on a white-collar farm," says his dad, Clark Aldrich. Aldrich vowed he'd never put his kid through the eye-glazing lectures he endured in school, even at prestigious institutions like Lawrence Academy and Brown University.
Read more ...
Need a tutor? YouTube videos await
from USA Today
When University of Central Florida junior Nicole Nissim got stumped in trigonometry, she checked out what was showing on YouTube.
Nissim typically scours the video-sharing website for clips of bands and comedy skits. But this time she wasn't there to procrastinate on her homework. It turned out YouTube was also full of math videos. After watching a couple, the psychology major says, she finally understood trig equations and how to make graphs.
Read more ...
Education is an Experiment
by Tammy Drennan
Educating another human being is an experimental endeavor by its very nature. Of the vast amount of knowledge out there, what's best to cover? How much literature for the science buff, how much science for the literary sort? What standards of writing and to whom should those standards apply? What about the inventors and artists and musicians and builders and runners? What encourages and what stymies genius? The questions go on and on, all with multiple answers that satisfy only small groups of people.
Read more ...
Using virtual worlds and video games to teach the lessons of reality
by Larry Greenemeier, Scientific American
Researchers are beginning to wonder whether video games, long seen as a top time waster for kids and a roadblock to their educational development, might actually be a solution to what ails today's schools rather than a problem. Several educators suggest in the newest issue of Science that schools use video games to simulate the real-world situations in the classroom to help students develop critical-thinking skills and enhance their understanding of science and math and, perhaps, even encourage them to pursue careers in those and related fields such as technology and engineering.
Read more ...
A Generation With More Than Hand-Eye Coordination
by Harry Hurt III
As the father of an 11-year-old son, I often wonder what's wrong with kids today. With my child as an exception, of course, they do not seem very bright. They appear to be shamelessly narcissistic, apathetic and lacking in social skills.
And even the best are hopelessly addicted to video games. How can an otherwise healthy boy like mine spend a sunny day playing World of Warcraft for five consecutive hours instead of playing soccer or baseball outdoors?
In "Grown Up Digital: How the Net Generation Is Changing Your World" (McGraw-Hill), Don Tapscott tries to shatter the negative stereotypes of the so-called Net Geners, who currently range in age from 11 to 31. His book gives parents from the baby boom generation - like me - reason for optimism.
Read more ...
The Myth of the Digital Native
by Chris Betcher
We hear a lot about the notion of Digital Natives and Digital Immigrants, a concept originally suggested by Marc Prensky in a paper by the same name. It makes a presumption that those born after [before?] the widespread introduction of digital technologies are somehow out of step with the world of technology, while those who were born and raised in the digital age are naturally able to function within it. Prensky contends that these younger folk - the "natives" - are born into a technology rich environment and are therefore akin to those who grow up natively speaking a given language, immersed in its use and able to converse fluently with it, while the "immigrants" are like those who come to a foreign land and need to learn to speak a whole new language. He argues that the immigrants will always have a digital "accent", and therefore their non-native heritage will always be conspicuously obvious.
Read more ...
Thank you for that item to John Larkin
Skeptical about hypnosis?
by Mark Tyrrell of Uncommon Knowledge
If you are skeptical about hypnosis you are right to be so. But let's take a moment to think about what this means.
With my colleague Roger Elliott of Hypnosisdownloads.com I have been using hypnosis to dissolve phobias, crack addictions, lift depressions, stop panic attacks and improve different types of performance for fifteen years. In short, I know hypnosis works. But at the same time, I can understand why some people are skeptical about hypnosis. After all, despite the reams of scientific research attesting to its therapeutic efficacy, traditionally hypnosis has been presented in a rather less than rational way.
Read more ...
How I Parent
A short and hopefully useful instantly downloadable ebook about how I've parented my own children.
Read more about that here
Be sure to download your FREE copy of my Guiding Stars of the New Parenting Movement
ebooks while you're here if you haven't done so already.
There are two volumes so far. These ebooks are FREE with my compliments and are packed with valuable insights and useful ideas to help you in your parenting adventure.
Volume 1 - an introduction to the work of Michael Mendizza, Robin Grille, Laura Ramirez, Jan Hunt, Pam Leo, Pat and Larry Downing, Alfie Kohn, Marc Prensky, Kali Wendorf and Jan Fortune-Wood:
Download it from here
Volume 2 - an introduction to the work of Aletha Solter, Kim Wildner, Naomi Aldort, John Travis and Meryn Callander, John Breeding, Scott Noelle, Beverley Paine and Alan Wilson
Download it from here
Family Coaching Café
"Kindred magazine is created to support and give voice to the embryonic but powerfully essential movement towards conscious parenting and conscious living happening all around the world. It is in honour of that revolutionary movement everywhere, be it large or small, public or personal, that Kindred addresses issues ahead of mainstream media. It brings cutting edge research and information from pioneers in all fields relating to the well being of our human family and the world we live in.
Courageously exploring social, political, spiritual, global and environmental issues, it is the first and only such magazine in Australia and one of only a few in the world."
For more information about the latest issue and to subscribe please visit the Kindred Magazine website
Subscribe to Kindred Magazine's between issues newsletter Kindred Spirit
Kindred Magazine on Facebook
Natural Child News
The Natural Child Project's free monthly newsletter.
Subscribe to Natural Child News here
A standout book by parent educator Pam Leo recommended by the Alliance for Transforming the Lives of Children.
"Connection parenting is parenting through connection instead of coercion, through love instead of fear."
Get all the details at www.connectionparenting.com
Heart To Heart Parenting
A new book from Robin Grille, author of Parenting For A Peaceful World.
"An empowering book for parents, Heart to Heart Parenting is more than just a 'how to' book about raising happy and resilient children - it aims to help you create a deep and lasting relationship that is unique to you and your child. Using techniques that are based on connection rather than shaming, manipulation or punishment, Robin Grille introduces you to insightful and practical ways to benefit your child's emotional wellbeing and development."
Find out more here
John W. Travis in Wikipedia
John W. Travis, M.D., co-founder of the Alliance for Transforming the Lives of Children has a Wikipedia page. Woo hoo!
Here it is:
A new initiative from Alan Wilson, the Founder of Develop Your Child
"The purpose of this project is to help parents feel comfortable and safe to ask for help in changing relationships in their family. Parents can share their challenges and get a different perspective in a relaxing and uplifting social environment."
For more information, please visit www.familycoachingcafe.com/
Mothering Magazine Ask The Expert Panel
"Get expert advice from our panel of natural parenting professionals.
Mothering invites you to submit a question to any of the following Natural Family Living experts-or simply browse through previously asked questions on topics that interest you."
Thirty-two friendly faces with full biographies.
Speaking of Wikipedia, here's the Wikipedia page on "babywearing".
I carried both of my children in a sling when they were babies. It seemed an eminently sensible thing to do. Still does.
Kangaroo Mother Care
An Interview with Dr. Nils Bergman by Marit Olanders
"The very best environment for a baby to grow and thrive, is the mother's body," says Dr Nils Bergman, a doctor specializing in Kangaroo Mother Care (KMC) in South Africa. "When placed skin-to-skin on the mother's chest, the baby receives warmth, protection and food, and its brain can develop optimally. Not feeding the baby often enough and leaving it to sleep alone after a feed can result in the baby getting colic", he adds. "The mother's skin is the baby's natural environment, and both physically and emotionally the healthiest place for the baby to be".
Read the complete interview here
A new book from Pinky McKay.
"Pinky McKay is an Internationally Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) who runs her own private practice in Melbourne, Australia, and is a breast feeding specialist consultant for the best selling baby magazines in Australia (Practical Parenting) and New Zealand (Littlies).
Pinky is also a leading Australian baby care author of best selling books, including 'Sleeping Like a Baby', '100 Ways to Calm the Crying' and 'Toddler Tactics' (Penguin Australia)."
Read all about the book here
Natural Parenting Center
"The Natural Parenting Center (NPC) is lovingly dedicated to fostering children's natural well-being through exceptional support for parents and caregivers. Our experienced and professional team provide consultations, coaching, and workshops."
Based in Missoula, Montana, USA, home of the mighty Ospreys.
Learn more about the Natural Parenting Center here
Here's a biography of the Center's Founding Director, Kris Laroche:
The Fatherhood Project
"The Fatherhood Project is a not for profit, independent organisation, dedicated to valuing the experience of fatherhood and building positive community, through enriching the lives of children, fathers and their families. Our aim is for every father to be actively and lovingly engaged in their children's lives. It is about supporting healthy, relationships between men, women and children and creating positive outcomes for families."
Three Trusts Parenting Work: Transformation for Divorced Parents
An initiative for a better world from Ruth Rinehart and Dr. John Breeding of Wildest Colts.
"More and more children are growing up with their parents living in separate households. More and more parents have to navigate the tricky territory of co-parenting with a former spouse/partner. The legal system with power over these waters is based upon an advocacy system that pits the parents against each other, making it more difficult for peaceful co-parenting in the future if a contested courtroom battle is waged.
Where do parents get guidance on how best to help their children emerge unscathed from the split?"
Find out more about the Three Trusts here
Parent By a Community: The First Editable Parenting Book
An interesting online development, from Vanessa van Petten of On Teens Today.
"Have you always wanted to write your own parenting advice, but do not feel like starting a whole blog or writing a book?
Are you a blogger or writer and want to get more of your ideas out there, or see what others think of your advice?
Do teens and parents agree or disagree on parenting rules?
What if parenting was done by a community?
Now, you can find out."
Yes you can. The details are here.
Ideas for Change in America
"Today as citizens of the world, we face a daunting array of social and environmental problems ranging from health care and education to global warming and economic inequality. For each of these issues, whether local or global in scope, there are millions of people who care passionately about working for change but lack the information and opportunities necessary to translate their interest into effective action.
Change.org aims to address this need by serving as the central platform informing and empowering movements for social change around the most important issues of our time."
Here are a few pages I've visited recently:
Support for mothers and children (Naomi Aldort)
Ban school paddling (Nadine Block)
Bridging the Empathy Gap (Jori Menske)
Top 100 Educational Websites
The Top 100 Educational Websites of 2009 according to Homeschool.com.
Peruse the list here
New resource from the Alternative Education Resource Organization (AERO)
"After a gap of 14 years, the AERO database ... is now being made available again to the public. This list of schools and descriptions originally appeared in the 1994 hard cover book, The Handbook of Alternative Education, published by Macmillan, selling for as much as $110 each! Later it appeared in the Almanac of Education Choices, published by Macmillan and Simon and Schuster in 1995. There were 6,000 entries. We were going to follow up with more volumes, but as the list grew, we thought we should just put it on the internet."
AERO's database of over 12,000 education alternatives is now online at www.educationfinder.net.
"Educationfinder.net is an all new way to help families find the education alternatives which are right for them. It contains a map search as well as the traditional form search. You will find everything from homeschool groups to public alternatives, democratic schools and colleges. We have tested the site over the past few months with our member group and are now ready to release it to the public. Educationfinder.net has been in development for several years and now thanks to the hard work of Peter Christopher and many others is finally a reality. This service is free for subscribers at present and will always remain free for alternative school staff to update and add new entries. Sign up today and send us your comments. We are always looking for current information on education alternatives so this website is always open to allow you to keep it up to date."
Although Australian home education 'pioneer' Beverley Paine no longer publishes her Homeschool Australia Newsletter, her Homeschool Australia website is more informative than ever! Take a look:
Australian Homeschool Graduates Forum
"Thomas Paine, homeschooling graduate and youngest son of Beverley Paine has created an online forum for young adults who were home educated. The unique style of education - outside of a traditional school setting - experienced by these young people is something they share in common and isn't easily understood or acknowledged by others. The forum is a place to reflect on their homeschooling (and/or schooling) experiences as well as to make friends, share stories, and connect."
More about that at www.aussiehomeschoolgraduates.org
And finally ...
NLP Consultant and Life Coach Keith Gilbert, author of Neuro-Linguistic Programming: Liberating Parents, has created a new workshop to replace his Liberating Parents workshop. It's called The Technology of Choice.
I will be attending Keith's Technology of Choice workshop in Sydney on the weekend of 21-22 February. I'm looking forward to it. I'll report back with my experiences as soon as I can after the event!
In the meantime, take a look at Keith's book The Technology of Choice either here at Lulu.com or at his Neuro-Linguistic Parents website: www.neurolinguisticparents.com/TheTechnologyofChoice
Thank you for reading the Parental Intelligence Newsletter!
The next issue of this newsletter will be published on or about 14 February 2009
Subscribe now and stay in touch
Copyright © Bob Collier, except where indicated otherwise
Published by Bob Collier, Canberra, Australia
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