The Parental Intelligence Newsletter

December 2008

Hi, this is Bob Collier inviting you to 'explore the psychology of happy and successful parenting', connect with bright minds, discover new ideas and sail outside the mainstream for a while without running aground.

All that and more.

In this month's issue of the Parental Intelligence Newsletter there are links to 11 articles and 17 notices and items of news. As always, I trust you will find in my latest collection of parenting, education and personal development ideas and information from around the internet something that will make a positive difference to your life - and, through you, to the lives of your children.

Please scroll down to pick and choose whatever is of interest and useful to you.

Thank you for being here! I appreciate this opportunity to be of help to you in your parenting adventure and wish you all the happiness and success you would wish yourself.

See you next month!



Neuro-Linguistic Programming: Liberating Parents

A new and different parenting book from Australian NLP Consultant and Life Coach Keith Gilbert.

"... this is what Liberating Parents is all about.  It is training for parents so that you can learn the essential processes for creating, maintaining and enjoying mental and emotional health and wellbeing. And when you have these skills and use them on a daily basis then you become a model for your children of a balanced, creative and free individual… which is exactly what you want for your children!"

My favourite parenting book ever

Invest in a copy of Liberating Parents at 
Visit Keith Gilbert's Neuro Linguistic Parents website for more information

Join my Facebook group Neuro-Linguistic Programming: Liberating Parents


9 Things I've Learned From My Wife's 9 Months of Pregnancy
by Jason Kotecki

1.) Pretty much everything on TV and in the movies is wrong.

I know, this is a shocker. But I grew up in a household of men (except for the one that we call Mom), and have pretty much no firsthand experience with anything feminine or pregnancy-related. I have come to find out that TV shows and movies have led me horribly astray. I've learned that the water doesn't always break in a restaurant or crowded public place (in fact, 90% of the time it happens right before the end of labor.) I've learned that the entire labor process takes a lot longer than a 30-minute sitcom would have you believe. Also, babies don't come out clean and baby-powdery. And they look more like E.T. than anything human. The next thing you know, they'll tell us that there isn't really some guy with red hair and sunglasses saving children and keeping criminals off Miami's streets.

Read more ...

Aurora Miranda Hudson's Birth: The Real Deal
by Laureen Hudson

Aurora's birth was magic. Pure magic. On so many levels, for so many  reasons.

My first birth was traumatic, an iatrogenic cesarean for care provider impatience. It should never have happened that way.

My second birth is best characterized as "running uphill", and through nine months of fight, with the world and my own head, I had a triumphant homebirth VBAC.

This birth? This was how it should be, for every woman, every where.

Read more ...

Surviving the Toddler Years
by Naomi Aldort

Many attachment parents call me in bewilderment when their child's behavior or development does not meet their expectations. "I did everything right for her!" says a young mother, "She was born peacefully, I carried her all the time, and she is still nursing and sleeping with us. Now that she is two years old, I am just not sure what to expect, or how to deal with her many needs." Some parents have specific questions about eating, sharing, cooperation and developmental stages. Others simply aren't sure how much to limit, and how much freedom to provide. These issues can indeed be perplexing. We have no role models to follow, as most of us are not following in our parents' footsteps.

Read more ...

Love Without Strings Attached
by Alfie Kohn

Unconditional acceptance may be desirable, but is it possible? Before responding to this critical question, let's be clear about what we're asking. The issue here is not whether people can accept themselves without conditions - that is, whether anyone has truly unconditional self-esteem. Rather, what we want to know is whether it's realistic to think that we can accept and love our children for who they are, with no strings attached.

Read more ...

Confessions of a Proud Mom
by Jan Hunt, M.Sc.

My son is 15 and has brought me nothing but...


I thought you'd say that! No, my son is 15 and has brought me nothing but joy.

"You're kidding! How did you do that?"

Read more ...

Out of the mists
by Karen Maezen Miller

My girl was a big girl, her own girl, with her own loves and life. I was a spectator, but the show was splendid and I still had the best seat in the house.

By my reckoning, I wrote those words nearly eight years ago, they were published nearly three years ago, and last night they came true in the most absolute and unpredictable way. I watched my daughter debut on a theater stage, feet steady, eyes blazing, cheeks glowing, her own girl, in her own life, from my seat in the full house. I'm filled with awe, not so much with her particular drama, but with the wonder of life itself. Do we write this life? Do we conjure out of scribbled ink and poetic image the very future we inhabit?

We must! We must!

Who is this girl, I wonder? Where does she come from and where will she go?

Read more ...

Wonderful Things to Say to My Daughters
by Ronit Baras

Amanda was a frustrated mother. She came to coaching for help with her two daughters. "I can't handle them", she said, "They don't listen to me at all. They never do what I tell them to do".

Amanda's daughters were normal, joyful 5- and 3-year-old girls but everything they did upset her. When they ran around giggling, she thought they were too loud. When they watched TV, she was unhappy about them doing nothing. When each of them did her own thing, she thought they did not play nicely with each other. When they wanted each other's toys, she thought they hated each other and never stopped fighting.

Everyone told her great things about her daughters. At first, she thought  it was because people did not see what she saw in her daughters or maybe they acted differently around other people, but as she progressed with her coaching program, she realized she had wonderful daughters and she needed  help herself.

Read more ...

The Next Frontier in Education
by Michael Mendizza
The American educational system was modeled after the Prussian Army, an organization skilled in transforming ordinary citizens into soldiers who follow orders without hesitation. Factory forms of education were needed to feed the emerging industrial society and children were the raw materials of these factories. Social engineers, anticipating the needs of the emerging factory society, took their cues from the military and fashioned our present system using simple Pavlovian conditioning, behavior modification, external rewards and punishments. Like bottles in an assembly line parenting styles followed the model set by these institutions. Soon what had never been before been became commonplace, expected. The social engineering goal implicit in the original design became transparent. You can see it today. Each morning millions of parents obediently place their children on the conveyor belts of these institutions with the best of intentions.

The social engineering goals of American education may have served a specific need at a specific time and in this light may have been "well-intended." The industrial society is gone, however, and so is the need for the kind of human being this system was designed to produce.

Read more ...

The Long-Term Benefits of Unschooling
by Jeff in Carlsbad, California

Among the things I am very grateful for is the burgeoning unschooling community here in San Diego that we are blessed to be a part of. We've got our own yahoo group (who doesn't these days?) that has recently become much richer in terms of the levels of discussion. Over the past few days, we've discussed TV watching. This is a familiar unschooling subject, and we've heard from people in favor of restricting TV as well as from people for whom "anything goes." I've been ridiculously busy of late, but took the time to get some thoughts down in a posting to the list yesterday; this was in response to a poster who was talking about the fact that her family does not have plastic goods in their house (as well as other  things) because they are made by child laborers and are bad for the environment.

Read more ...

Why Unschooling Doesn't Come Naturally
by Dayna Martin

Over the years a question keeps popping into my head. If I lived on a deserted island and had no cultural influence telling me what to do, would unschooling come completely natural to me as a parent? Why do we need to learn how to unschool in our culture? If it is such a natural way for humans to learn, why do so many people think that learning has to be forced? When I ponder these thoughts I realize that most in our culture have lost instinctual wisdom as parents. We have lost an aspect of being human that is our birthright.

Read more ...

How to Teach Your Kids About Finding Real Friends
by Vanessa Van Petten

Cotton Candy friending is a phenomenon among the Facebook generation where the more friends you have the better and soon you realize that you have 1276 friends on MySpace, but no one to hand out in real life.  I find that we are truly hungry for real relationships, because the social network 'friend' does not sustain us.

So, how can we get Cotton Candy friends back to being real dessert…or  maybe even a meal, something long lasting and nutritious for your soul.

Read more ...


How I Parent

A short and hopefully useful instantly downloadable ebook about how I parent my own children.

Read more about that here 

Guiding Stars of the New Parenting Movement

Be sure to download your FREE copy of my Guiding Stars of the New Parenting Movement ebooks while you're here if you haven't done so already.

There are two volumes so far. These ebooks are FREE with my compliments and are packed with valuable insights and useful ideas to help you in your parenting adventure.

Volume 1 - an introduction to the work of Michael Mendizza, Robin Grille, Laura Ramirez, Jan Hunt, Pam Leo, Pat and Larry Downing, Alfie Kohn, Marc Prensky, Kali Wendorf and Jan Fortune-Wood:

Download it from here  

Volume 2 - an introduction to the work of Aletha Solter, Kim Wildner, Naomi Aldort, John Travis and Meryn Callander, John Breeding, Scott Noelle, Beverley Paine and Alan Wilson

Download it from here

Kindred Magazine

"Kindred magazine is created to support and give voice to the embryonic but powerfully essential movement towards conscious parenting and conscious living happening all around the world. It is in honour of that revolutionary movement everywhere, be it large or small, public or personal, that Kindred addresses issues ahead of mainstream media. It brings cutting edge research and information from pioneers in all fields relating to the well being of our human family and the world we live in.

Courageously exploring social, political, spiritual, global and environmental issues, it is the first and only such magazine in Australia and one of only a few in the world."

For more information about the latest issue and to subscribe please visit the Kindred Magazine website 

Subscribe to Kindred Magazine's between issues newsletter Kindred Spirit

Kindred Magazine on Facebook

Natural Child News

The Natural Child Project's free monthly newsletter.

Subscribe to Natural Child News here   

Connection Parenting

A standout book by parent educator Pam Leo recommended by the Alliance for Transforming the Lives of Children.   

"Connection parenting is parenting through connection instead of coercion, through love instead of fear."

Get all the details at

Heart To Heart Parenting

A new book from Robin Grille, author of Parenting For A Peaceful World.

"An empowering book for parents, Heart to Heart Parenting is more than just a 'how to' book about raising happy and resilient children - it aims to help you create a deep and lasting relationship that is unique to you and your child. Using techniques that are based on connection rather than shaming, manipulation or punishment, Robin Grille introduces you to insightful and practical ways to benefit your child's emotional wellbeing and development."

Find out more here

Observaciones sobre "la estafa de los etiquetamientos psiquiátricos"

My observations on the "psychiatric labels scam" translated into Spanish. Not by me, I hasten to add. By a young lady in Argentina; her name is Fabiola Arnaudo.

This is a work in progress. At present, only some parts of The Parental Intelligence Report on 'ADHD' (published as a single document in May 2003) and The Candlelight Project (published in 40 parts in my then weekly newsletter between July 2003 and April 2004) have been translated, the rest will follow as soon as possible.

Visitar por favor esta página para más información

Both The Parental Intelligence Report on 'ADHD' and The Candlelight Project in their original English can be read online at sponsored by Uncommon Knowledge.

Mike Adams interview with Dr. Fred Baughman

Free ebook. Mike Adams of Truth Publishing interviews Dr. Fred Baughman, author of The ADHD Fraud.

"In the last 30 years, the field of psychiatry has transformed childhood into a disease through the label of ADHD. That's exactly what Dr. Fred Baughman, a pediatric neurologist and fellow of the American Association of Neurologists explores in this downloadable interview from Truth Publishing.

Dr. Baughman is one of the few neurological experts that is willing come forward with the truth about ADHD and the mass drugging of America's children. Have you ever wondered why other countries don't have this explosion of mental illness in their kids? Have you ever wondered why people in your parent's generation didn't have these problems? The answers are all right here in this interview."

Visir to download a copy of this free ebook

ADHD Truth

Ray Pem's independent campaign against the psychiatric invented term "ADHD" and its drugs.

"ADHD psychiatric mind-altering drugs, Ritalin and similar, harming our children with attention, behavior and learning problems!  View alternative workable solutions.  Visit for details and also see how we can all help with the problem."


"This blog is written in response to the egotism, abuse and falseness that has become commonplace in the field of psychology, psychiatry, counselling, CBT and psychotherapy. It focuses particularly on the use of psychiatric labelling which can seriously stigmatise many distressed individuals for the rest of their lives. ...

... Increasing numbers of morally-concerned practitioners are simply fed up with the prevailing trends within the field which increasingly serve the vanity, ambition and power needs of many of those working in the 'helping professions' often at the expense of the troubled people they claim to serve."


Professor Thomas Szasz Speaks Against Child Psychology & Psychiatry

Short video (3mins 21secs)

KOG October 2008

"Do you realize that no one knows what a learning disability is?"

In the October 2008 issue of its online gazette, the KOG, the Kern Association of School Psychologists in California provides "another opportunity for you to make a great choice regarding the myth of SLD."

Includes informative commentary on "Asperger's Syndrome".

Read the KOG here:

Unlimited: The new learning revolution and the seven keys to unlock it

A new book about the future of education and a whole lot more co-authored by Gordon Dryden, a New Zealand author, researcher, publisher and broadcaster, and Dr. Jeannette Vos, a Netherlands-born American doctor of education now also living in New Zealand.

The first 34 pages of Unlimited: The New Learning Revolution are available free from the book's website. You can also read Gordon Dryden's earlier 1999 book, The Learning Revolution, online in its entirety.

Visit for the details

Home Education Stories UK

"Welcome to Home Education Stories UK. This blog will hopefully become a treasure trove of stories from UK home educators (both parents and children) on a huge variety of topics. The aim is that anyone wanting to know more about home education in the UK, how it actually works for different families, what happens in different situations, for children of different ages etc. will be able to come here and find stories that will be inspiring and helpful."

Find out more or contribute here:

Australian Sole Parent Homeschool Group

A new online group "for sole parent homeschooling families in Australia to share support and friendship".


How to Be an Unschooler

A compact eHow article from mother of six "Mrs Hannigan" (actually, mother of six daughters) offering seven steps to becoming an unschooler.

I'm step 7. Really.

Read the article here

How to Be a Good Unschooler

Going deeper into the subject, here are some observations from unschooler Pam Sorooshian, with a Foreword by Sandra Dodd:

"Pam Sorooshian has written something perfectly stunning, and stunningly perfect. She didn't send a title for it. I've called it "How to be a good unschooler," but it could be "How to be a good parent," or "How to be a good person." It's a summary of some of the best unschooling knowledge of the past dozen and more years. It will help improve families' lives for years to come."

Read it here

And finally ...

The Parent's Little List of Trust

From "Momma Zen", Karen Maezen Miller.

Trust accidents and coincidences; trust imperfection and the unforeseen.
Trust the milk to spill.

Read the complete list here

Thank you for reading the Parental Intelligence Newsletter!

The next issue of this newsletter will be published on or about 14 January 2009

Subscribe now and stay in touch

Copyright © Bob Collier, except where indicated otherwise

Published by Bob Collier, Canberra, Australia  

Email: bobcollier[at]parental-intelligence[dot]com 

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