The Parental Intelligence Newsletter

July 2007

Hi, this is Bob Collier inviting you to 'explore the psychology of happy and successful parenting', connect with bright minds, discover new ideas and sail outside the mainstream for a while without running aground.

All that and more.

In this month's issue of the Parental Intelligence Newsletter there are links to 19 articles and 35 notices and items of news. As always, I trust you will find in my latest collection of parenting, education and personal development ideas and information from around the internet something that will make a positive difference to your life - and, through you, to the lives of your children.

Please scroll down to pick and choose whatever is of interest and useful to you.

Thank you for being here! I appreciate this opportunity to be of help to you in your parenting adventure and wish you all the happiness and success you would wish yourself.

See you next month!



"The things to do are:  the things that need doing: that you see need to be done, and that no one else seems to see need to be done. Then you will  conceive your own way of doing that which needs to be done - that no one else has told you to do or how to do it. This will bring out the real you ..." - R. Buckminster Fuller


Future Families

Families consciously creating the future

Future Families is a non-government, not for profit community association formed in March 2007 by a group of Adelaide (South Australia) mums to inform and support parents on the vast array of greater options to raise conscious, vibrant, confident and peaceful children.

"We see parenting as an immense gift to nurture our children holistically, consciously and spiritually. Without ignoring the convenience and rewards of modern technology and medicine we recognise that today's options for parenting need to be carefully examined and considered."

Visit to read the Future Families Brochure and Manifesto


Teaching Through Love Instead of Fear
by Pam Leo

Can you imagine threatening your partner or good friend by counting "One... two... three..." if he or she did not do what you wanted?

One of the big issues in schools today is "bullying." Parents and teachers struggle daily with how to stop this behavior. Without realizing it, adults teach bullying behavior to children by modeling it when they use the threat of their physical size or power to make children do things. When I hear a parent counting "One... two" at a young child, I always wonder what the child has been told will happen if the parent gets to three.

Read more ...

Getting Out of the Way
by Naomi Aldort

My husband and I are often complimented on our children's behavior and demeanor. People think that we discipline them. We don't. It is ourselves we discipline.

We meet our children's needs, provide for their protection, and expose them to life's possibilities. We do not, however, meddle in their play, their learning, their creativity, or any other form of growth.

Read more ...

Post Natal Depression - Mental Illness or Natural Reaction?
by Robin Grille

Post Natal Depression (PND) affects at least one in ten mothers around the world. While this painful and debilitating condition afflicts mothers - within four weeks of giving birth - it is also stressful for family relationships and detrimental to mother-infant bonding.

These days it is popular to explain PND as feminine hormones gone awry - though the evidence for this is poor. We have a variety of pharmaceuticals at our disposal - and, of course, they can be helpful. But our over-reliance on the hormonal, "sickness" model has a serious pitfall.

Read more ...

Communication Mistakes Parents Often Make
by Pat and Larry Downing

As parents, we love our children and want to do the best for them. At times, however, the pressures of living every day create stress and distractions for all of us. We can easily fall into communication habits that are not effective, especially when we need to discipline our children or teenagers, or to talk with them about sensitive issues.

If we can talk with our kids more effectively - if we can find ways to understand them better and get them to really hear what we are trying to say - then we can work together to create more peaceful and satisfying relationships.

So how do we change those communication habits that arent working for us?

Read more ...

Test Today, Privatize Tomorrow
Using Accountability to "Reform" Public Schools to Death
by Alfie Kohn

I just about fell off my desk chair the other day when I came across my own name in an essay by a conservative economist who specializes in educational issues. The reason for my astonishment is that I was described as being "dead set against any fundamental changes in the nation's schools." Now having been accused with some regularity of arguing for too damn many fundamental changes in the nation's schools, I found this new criticism more than a bit puzzling. But then I remembered that, during a TV interview a couple of years ago, another author from a different right-wing think tank had labeled me a "defender of the educational status quo."

Read more ...

Do Parents truly evolve from generation to generation?
by Neville de Hennin

Have you ever sat down and compared your parenting strategies with the ones your parents used with you?

Do you notice more similarities or more differences?

Parenting is an assumed skill by society ... a natural skill that every parent is expected to just know instinctively. Then, when situations arise in which we as parents do not know instinctively what to do, we draw on our own experiences with our parents and look at the actions of other parents for guidance. If that yields no results we compare our children with all the other children. The usual conclusion is that our children are no worse off than others ... we are all in the same boat and there is nothing we can do ... or is there?

Read more ...

Believe in your Biology!
by Rosa Say

Did you know - truly know and realize - that positive and negative is a one or the other occurrence, and not a both at the same time?

I am a very trusting reader. I will accept much of what an author says without needing proof. Foolish? I don't think so; I believe that the mana'o of a writer (mana'o is their deeply held beliefs and convictions) has enough connected experience to trump facts a good deal of the time.

Read more ...

Living Naturally
by Jason Kotecki

You ever see a four-year-old walk into a room and declare, "Man! I am soooooo stressed out!"

Me neither.

There are a multitude of reasons that little kids aren't stressed-out and inches away from little heart attacks, but one of them is because they tend to listen to their bodies. Mind you, this doesn't happen consciously. Rather, they have the tendency to go with the flow; letting their bodies dictate when to go and when to crash. Fiction author Robin Brande calls this "living naturally."

Read more ...

The Space Between
by Tammy Takahashi

We don't appreciate sleep enough. I used to say, "I wish I didn't have to sleep so I can get more done." Now that I actually get enough sleep, I get more done. Pretty cool, eh?

We also don't appreciate doing nothing enough. We call it being "lazy" and feel guilty when we fill our time with something that doesn't produce results. But it's as important to learning and living as any chore, workbook or activity. Taking regular breaks gives our brains enough time to process our experiences.

Read more ...

Hey, Kids! Don't Read This!
by Jonathan Rauch

I don't have children, so I can't say I know much about them. I defer to my many friends in the baby boom generation who are parents. They know everything about children. In fact, they know more about children than was known by all previous generations of parents combined, as becomes clear when you talk to them for more than 60 seconds at a stretch.

I do sometimes wonder, though, if baby boom parents, and baby boom politicians, are always right about absolutely everything. In particular, I wonder if they are right to frame public policy as though adolescents do not exist.

Read more ...

The Aspiration Gap
by Eve Sullivan

The achievement gap gets a lot of ink for two reasons: It is important and it is fairly easily measured. Schoolchildren either do, or do not, know how to add, subtract, multiply and divide, work with fractions, solve algebraic equations. They do, or do not, read for pleasure and learning, and write well.

Unlike achievement, aspiration is hard to measure, although it forms the foundation on which all achievement is built.

Read more ...

The Definition of Student Success: What Does it Mean to You?
by Ken Messersmith

The report "A New Day for Learning," recently released by the Time, Learning, and Afterschool Task Force, argues that we must redefine the school day if we are to improve student achievement in the United States. The authors of the report, funded by the Charles Stewart Mott Foundation, lay out five elements of their proposed new learning system.

Read more ...

Gender Matters: Dividing Boys and Girls
by Amy Standen

At the 49ers Academy, in East Palo Alto, California, it was the students who gave the thumbs down to going coed.

"They say they feel more comfortable in sex-segregated classrooms," says Heather Turoczi, the school's program director. "The boys don't feel like they need to put on a big show for the girls, and the girls feel like they can strive academically without having to dumb down their abilities."

Read more ...

The New Literacy
by Sara Armstrong and David Warlick

Recently, Edgar Murphy of the North Carolina State Board of Education delivered a presentation to a group of technology-using educators in the Raleigh area. He stated that of all the positions he has held in his life, he was technically qualified for only the first one. In the case of those that followed, he convinced prospective employers that he could teach himself all he needed to know while on the job.

Some months back, Michael Cox, a chief economist for the Federal Reserve Bank, predicted to a group of students that they would have at least five jobs after they graduate, four of which haven't been invented yet.

A fundamental question for everyone involved in education - administrators, teachers, parents, and students - in this time of rapid change is, "What do students really need to be learning today in order to be ready for an unpredictable future?"

Read more ...

Play to learn
by Mead Gruver

Profit and loss ... Power Point ... spreadsheets ... typing practice: The junior high school business class could have given a case of the yawns to a buttoned-down executive, not to mention the kids.

To University of Wyoming professor Liz Simpson, what the students needed was something many teachers wouldn't even whisper about: a computer game, and not one designed for education, but solely for self-indulgent, time-consuming entertainment at home.

Simpson and a growing number of educators say that such games -- "Restaurant  Empire," in this case -- can make school more engaging for "digital natives" who have never known a world without the Internet, cell phones, text messaging and PlayStation.

Read more ...

High Score Education
by James Paul Gee

The US spends almost $50 billion each year on education, so why aren't kids learning? Forty percent of students lack basic reading skills, and their academic performance is dismal compared with that of their foreign counterparts. In response to this crisis, schools are skilling-and-drilling their way "back to basics," moving toward mechanical instruction methods that rely on line-by-line scripting for teachers and endless multiple-choice testing. Consequently, kids aren't learning how to think anymore - they're learning how to memorize. This might be an ideal recipe for the future Babbitts of the world, but it won't produce the kind of agile, analytical  minds that will lead the high tech global age. Fortunately, we've got Grand Theft Auto: Vice City and Deus X for that.

Read more ...

Thank you for that item to Sandra Dodd

Stretch Goals: A Different Kind of PE Class
by Grace Rubenstein

In a handful of schools across the country, students are trying a new twist on traditional physical education -- one targeting fitness of mind as much as firmness of body. The new drill is yoga, and it's a far cry from the classic run-a-mile-and-do-pushups PE class.

Read more ...

Hypnosis and Parenting
The Natural Partnership - Part 1
by Lisa Machenberg

When I tell people that I am a Hypnotherapist who teaches Parenting Classes, the first question people ask is, "Can you show me how to hypnotize my kids to do their homework, clean their rooms, and go to bed?" The answer to this question and those like it is an overwhelming "yes!" I also show parents how to use self-hypnosis to be calm in any parenting situation so they can be the mom or dad they have always wanted to be.

Read more ...

Hard Core Hypnosis & Mind Control For Women - A Matter Of Survival?
by Silvia Hartmann

If you were to ask a group of otherwise intelligent teenage girls if they would be interested in finding out more about the art of hypnosis, they would probably be astonished, then giggle, then shake their heads and walk away.

It is a fact that in the field of hypnosis, there are very few women; but what is far more important, that the few women are found in the "healing therapy" forms of hypnosis.

But that is not the whole story - there is another side to hypnosis, namely that of covert mind control. 

Read more ...




Guiding Stars of the New Parenting Movement

Be sure to download your FREE copy of my Guiding Stars of the New Parenting Movement e-books while you're here if you haven't done so already.

There are two volumes so far, one more to come later this year. These e-books are FREE with my compliments and are packed with valuable insights and useful ideas to help you in your parenting adventure.

Volume 1 - an introduction to the work of Michael Mendizza, Robin Grille, Laura Ramirez, Jan Hunt, Pam Leo, Pat and Larry Downing, Alfie Kohn, Marc Prensky, Kali Wendorf and Jan Fortune-Wood:

Download it from here

Volume 2 - an introduction to the work of Aletha Solter, Kim Wildner, Naomi Aldort, John Travis and Meryn Callander, John Breeding, Scott Noelle, Beverley Paine and Alan Wilson

Download it from here

Kindred Magazine

In the latest issue of Kindred magazine:

*  The Secret - New Age Chinese Whispers
*  MASKquerade - The ugly truth behind the beauty industry
*  9 Safe Cosmetic and Skin Care Alternatives
*  A Call from the Wild - How today's children need nature and how the future depends on it
*  Weapons of Mass Induction - How television affects your opinions, your will and your life

And much more.

is available by subscription from Borders bookstores, quality newsagents and now in the US from selected Barnes & Noble stores.

Visit the Kindred magazine website for more information, to subscribe to the magazine or sign up for the free monthly newsletter

Hot Milk!

"The hottest event of 2007"

The Australian Breastfeeding Association's National Conference

Melbourne, 2-4 August 2007

Speakers include Steve Biddulph, Robin Grille, Pinky McKay, Dr. Sarah Buckley.

For more information or to register:

Natural Moms Interview with Jan Hunt

Listen to Jan Hunt, founder of The Natural Child Project, speak with Carrie Lauth of Natural Moms Talk Radio on parenting, education, and child advocacy.

Naomi Aldort on YouTube

Naomi Aldort's first YouTube video!

"Every parent would happily give up ever scolding, punishing or threatening if she only knew how to ensure that her toddler/child/teen would thrive and act responsibly without such painful measures. The book, Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves by Naomi Aldort is the answer to this universal wish. It is not about gentle ways to control a child, but about a way of being and of understanding a child so she/he can be the best of herself, not because she fears you, but because she wants to, of her own free will."

Watch the video here - 3 mins 48 secs

Homeschool Australia Newsletter

In the latest issue:

* Quick Notes
* Schools Are For Fish
* Homeschool Network and Blogs
* Favourite Quotes
* Book Review: Grammar Made Easy
* Homeschooling News, 6 items
* Letters
* Homeschool FAQ: Relax into Homeschooling
* Article: E-Learning as Home Learning, by Fergus McGrath
* Article: Parental Role in Home Education the Natural Learning Way
* Homeschool Resources
* Homeschooling Camps

You can read the newsletter online at:

Develop Your Child

Visit Develop Your Child's fantastic new look website - "reflecting our unique approach in coaching respectful family relationships, it includes loads of new free resources."

Breastfeeding Older Children

Ann Sinnott, whose 15 year old daughter self-weaned at the age of six and a half, is writing a book about sustained breastfeeding, defined as breastfeeding children 3 years and older. She's looking for long-term breastfeeding mothers, past and present, who would be willing to complete a questionnaire for her.

"Confidentiality maintained and anonymity assured."

Please visit the Breastfeeding Older Children website for further information

The Mother Magazine

UK based magazine edited by Veronika Robinson.

"The Mother is an international magazine of fertility awareness, conscious conception, peaceful pregnancy, sacred birth, extended breastfeeding, natural immunity and attachment parenting."

Find out more at The Mother magazine website

Holistic Moms

The Holistic Moms Network was originally founded as a small, local support group in May of 2002 in New Jersey. HMN's first leaders were moms who were parenting to a different beat and yearned for the support and friendship of others who shared their ideals. 

Today the Holistic Moms Network is opening chapters across the United States and has a diverse and rapidly growing membership.

Dojo Wisdom for Mothers

"When it comes to parenting books, most are oriented around how-to, do and dont, ten steps and twelve strategies for this and that. Few call for a more wisdom-based approach that asks parents, moms especially, to look within themselves for answers, and fewer still ask us to refer to the teachings of martial arts. Jennifer Lawler does that and more in Dojo Wisdom for Mothers: 100 Simple Ways to Become a Calmer, Happier, More Loving Parent."

Get the details at Curled Up Kids

Dad At Work

The blog of Executive Dad Jeffrey Levine - "an executive coach, a dad, a musician, a husband and a guy who isn't afraid to ask for directions."

All Men Are Sons

"John Badalament is an international lecturer, acclaimed documentary filmmaker, writer and experienced educator. His work focuses on helping parents and educators understand the critical role that Modern Dads play in children's school and family life."

He's also the author of The Modern Dads Handbook.

Relax Kids

"Relax Kids is a gentle fun way to introduce relaxation and meditation into children's lives by using the positive aspects of popular fairy stories. It also helps them use their imagination to explore their creativity."

Visit for the details

Hypnosis Downloads

New Parent

"Adjust to your new life with confidence"

More information about that here

Step Parent

"Get some help with the challenges of being a new step parent"

Go here for the details

New Blog and Podcasts

Visit the Hypnosis Downloads new blog for samples of hypnosis downloads and informative articles from hypnotherapist Mark Tyrrell.

Visit the Hypnosis Downloads blog

Zoey's Room

"Zoey's Room is a safe online community for middle school girls (ages 10-14), which encourages creativity through science, technology, engineering and math."

Study: Troubled homes better than foster care

"Children whose families are investigated for abuse or neglect are likely to do better in life if they stay with their families than if they go into foster care, according to a pioneering study."

Read the USA Today news item here

Thank you for that item to Rolando Bini of Parents in Action

Entrepreneur Days

Rhea Perry's annual home business conference for parents and teens will be held this year in Colorado Springs, Colorado on August 3-5 and in Atlanta, Georgia on August 24-26.

Get the exciting details here

Rethinking Education 11th National Conference

"The incredible, life-changing & liberating 11th national conference on Rethinking Education is Labor Day Weekend: Thursday, August 30 - Monday, September 3, 2007 at the Sheraton Grand Hotel in Irving, Texas, just minutes from Dallas and the DFW Airport. A complimentary shuttle runs to and from the hotel - airport 24 hours a day.

Our exciting website contains up to date information on our diverse, thought-provoking program, registration, and all details! Out-of-the-box, fun and "nuts and bolts" unschool sessions for adults, teens, tweens and kids of all ages, all  weekend... 5 glorious days!"

More information about that here

2007 Live and Learn Unschooling Conference

The 6th annual Live and Learn Unschooling Conference will be in the beautiful mountains of North Carolina near Asheville, September 5-9, 2007.

Visit the conference website for the details

Digital Natives

The Digital Natives Project is a wiki on 'Digital Natives', people "for whom the internet and related technologies are givens" and who "take networked communication as the foundation of their lives". 'Digital Native' and 'Digital Immigrant' are terms popularised by education and learning 'guru' Marc Prensky.


"Dedicated to Delivering a 21st Century Education to our Children!"

A most excellent website about real 21st century education. It's especially appealing for people like me who appreciate that "the internet and related technologies" have ushered in a Golden Age of self-education.


"Thinkfinity offers more than 55,000 free, state-of-the-art educational and literacy resources plus comprehensive professional development.

Try it.

And find out why Edutopia magazine readers voted the Best Site for Free Lesson Plans two years in a row."


My home educated son Pat uses this, although it was originally designed for use in schools. Check it out.

Beyond Phonics Word Pattern Stories

"Revolutionary Language Learning!"

Find out more about that here

Thank you for that item to Deborah Taylor-Hough of Bright Kids

Action for Home Education (AHed)

"AHEd is an Internet based home educators action group with a focus on the defence and advancement of home education rights and liberties and of fair and equal treatment for all home educators."

Unschooling Voices

Unschooling Voices is a monthly collection of blog posts on the topic of unschooling.

Very active. Very informative.

Find out more at An Unschooling Life

The Unschooling Unmanual

"School is out. Unschool is in! Our newest booklet, The Unschooling Unmanual, by Nanda Van Gestel, Rue Kream, Mary Van Doren and Jan Hunt, will be published this fall. Through engaging personal stories, examples, and essays, the writers offer inspiration and encouragement for experienced and prospective unschoolers alike. The booklet can be pre-ordered at the discounted price of $12."

Visit The Natural Child Project website for more info on that


"The official website dedicated to increasing awareness while providing diagnosis and treatment for Adultitis, the sinister epidemic that makes the Black Death look like a trip to Disneyland."

More fun and games from Kim and Jason Kotecki's campaign to restore childlike wonder to the lives of grumpy grownups.

Adultitis Case Study #1: Ice Cream

Watch the video here - 1 min 44 secs

New EFT for Kids Forum

A new community forum has just been launched through Gary Craig's EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) web site. eft4Kids is a discussion forum that will be moderated and administered by individuals with experience bringing EFT to young people and a passion for creating communications that speak to kids. Visit the forum 

Kids In Disaster Situations

"Kids In Disaster Situations is a not-for-profit children's charity dedicated to raising funds to help provide Accommodation, Educational support and Counselling for kids that have suffered from natural disasters.Our support is towards families with children aged 0-16.

K.I.D.S was founded with the purpose of improving the lives of Australian children. Through the thoughtful gifts and donations of our supporters, K.I.D.S supports projects and organizations that have a proven record of helping the children in the greatest need."

Find out more here

TeenScreen - Controversial and Unscientific

A YouTube video about TeenScreen. See also

Watch the video here - 9 mins 52 secs

Re-evaluation Counselling

"Re-evaluation Counseling is a process whereby people of all ages and of all backgrounds can learn how to exchange effective help with each other in order to free themselves from the effects of past distress experiences.

Re-evaluation Counseling theory provides a model of what a human being can be like in the area of his/her interaction with other human beings and his/her environment. The theory assumes that everyone is born with tremendous intellectual potential, natural zest, and lovingness, but that these qualities have become blocked and obscured in adults as the result of accumulated distress experiences (fear, hurt, loss, pain, anger, embarrassment, etc.) which begin early in our lives.

Visit the website for more information

Thank you for that item to Nick Heap


The website of life coach and communications expert Hazel-Ann Lorkins, who specialises in life/work balance, stress management, and professional and personal relationships.

"Put the sparkle back into your world ..."

And finally ...

Smells Like Childhood Spirit

Yes, it's a final dash of merriment from Kim and Jason Kotecki - on this occasion, in the form of a slightly weird story about Play-Doh cologne.

Enjoy that here

Thank You for Reading the Parental Intelligence Newsletter!

The next issue of this newsletter will be published on or about 14 August 2007

Subscribe now and stay in touch

Copyright © Bob Collier, except where indicated otherwise

Published by Bob Collier, Canberra, Australia

Email: bobcollier[at]parental-intelligence[dot]com

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